Ever Had a Crush on a Co-Worker? (Tempted to Touch)

0 Posted by - May 19, 2011 - Guest Socks, Relationships, Love & Marriage

WORDS BY KORI KINCADE

I’m in love with one of my co-workers. Every time I see him, I get turned on. When I walk into a room in our office, his face is the first face I look for. He’s smart, funny, and sweet.

As far as he knows, he’s just my best work friend—we can sit in a room together and not say a word and enjoy it. Because I don’t drive, when we have to go somewhere for work, he drives me, dropping me off and picking me up at the curb—he’s a true gentleman. He opens my doors when we go out for lunch and he laughs at my jokes. He has me so open and in love, that it makes me hate weekends.

Problem is, he has a wife.

I’ve met his wife of one year. She is sweet and petite, a lovely person; I just want to slit her throat. Okay, maybe not that severe but I’m glad that she doesn’t know how I covet her husband. How I imagine kissing him, touching him, and teaching him how I like to be touched. I like to watch him walk, and would love to touch his firm bottom. I know him by scent, and he is the first face I want to see when I walk into the office and the last face I want to see before I leave.

But, it isn’t meant to be.

I know this.

See, I don’t believe in sleeping with married men. I’ve never done it (to my knowledge) and I don’t think I ever could. I only imagine that a married man wouldn’t be present mentally in the moment enjoying all this good loving that I’m giving them. Instead, they would be thinking about how different it is from what they have at home, and how to wash my sweet scent off before they pull into their driveway and climb back into their beds.

For me, co-worker attraction is usually just that—it’s just attraction. It’s a level of comfort that you have reached with someone that is so pure, that you feel the need to take it to the next logical level, SEX. But, in this case, this is the most illogical and stupid thing you could do, because it will make your work life and home life awkward and the karma is awful.

So, for me, I was happy when my work best friend went on a job interview today. I hope he gets it so I can calm down and get back to work. Lord, forgive me, and lead me not into temptation.

Ah-men!

Have you ever had a crush on a co-worker? Did they ever find out how you felt? Would you ever express or act on your feelings? Would it make a difference if they worked in a different department or floor? Do you think people should get fired for having an office affair? Would you consider dating someone you no longer work with? Is there an age limit on having crushes? Have you ever been attracted to someone that was married or in a relationship? Would you ever consider an affair with someone that was married or in a committed relationship? Could you respect someone that broke his or her vows to be with you? What would you do if you found out your partner was working with someone that was attracted to them?

Speak your piece…

  • Lisa

    I have had a crush on a coworker. Whenever I would see him, I would get hot. When he stood behind me, the only thing I could think was oh doggy style. Apparently, he felt the same way. We had sex a few times & then went our separate ways (this was 1999)….well we are supposedly older & wiser now but we’ve been discussing hooking up again now that we are both divorced & single.
    Good post, brought back memories (ok, I was already thinking about this).

  • http://heardhimsay.com Drew-Shane

    I think it makes the work place a little fun. Crushes are always nice when it’s a secret. If they find out, it’s no fun. I try to keep it separate between work, school, etc. I’ve never dated someone from work or school. Not sure how that happened but it has. Nothing wrong with crushing and fantasizing. Gotta have something to do!

  • MetLifeSnoopy

    Nope, never had a crush on anyone I have ever worked with.

    How can there be an age limit for a person liking another (crushes)?

  • TheChosen

    My co worker had a crush on me. I was very hesitate to go out with him because I didn’t want our work relationship to get weird. But we went out once and never stopped now we are engaged! So sometimes you have to let go of the restrictions you but on yourself at work and go for it. Hey, it paid off for me!!!

  • Wmofyr

    He’s nice, open doors, laughs at jokes (do you have more tenure). There is no manipulation of him trying to get you into bed. He has a career. And he sounds like he a one woman man. So he is the proper type to be liking.. except he married. And he safe, because he taken. Girl get out there and date. Meet one of his buddies. Say.. “you so nice, I would love to meet one of your nice buddies.” See if that works out.

  • Cherie

    Naaaaaa…. wouldn’t go there unless I thought he was a potential Husband! Very recently I had a co-worker who had a crush on me, he even told me he did! even suggested we hook up after work one day or that he came back to mine. Or we just go for drinks to talk. The only problem was that he had just got married!! I shouldn’t have to tell a grown man how to act, and I never ever gave this man any signs or clues that I was interested in him. All of this started when he found out that I was newly single! Now, I’m very careful about having guy friends at work..it’s sad but some of these guys,married or not are just a trip!! (as American’s say).

  • http://whatsonmymind09.blogspot.com Marcia H.

    Yeah I’ve had a crush on a co-worker. I didn’t say anything b/c I didn’t think I was his type and plus there was soooo much other stuff going on with him and the job that I just ignored it. Years later I found out that he’s married but forgot to mention that to the FEMALE co-workers he worked with. Glad I didn’t get involved with that! Now on the other hand, a co-worker who eventually became my boss, told me that he’s had a crush on me for YEARS! No I haven’t acted on it b/c he has a live-in girlfriend. #GoFigure

  • http://whatsonmymind09.blogspot.com Marcia H.

    Now I have been incredibly attracted to a married man before. It happened 2 weeks ago when I was in Savannah. He was after me for some oral fixation. I said no but we exchanged numbers anyway. We get to texting and in my non-sober state I some how managed to ask him how he felt about marriage and that’s when he told me he was married. That he loved his wife but he had a high sex drive. Also in my non-sober state I said we could be friends. Well thankfully the next day I sobered up and told him we could not be friends. And for a good week I couldn’t get that man out my head…

  • http://www.AConleyCreation.com AConleyCreation

    I agree with Cherie that I wouldn’t date a co-worker unless you think there’s serious potential there. I have done it when I was much younger and naive. Just not worth it.

    No harm in having crushes or fantasies. I just hope this chick is able to separate her feelings enough to not act on them or have an emotional affair with the married man, if not already. Emotional affairs are just as unfaithful and disrespectful to the person’s mate as a physical affair. Myself, I would limit my interaction with that person as much as possible to avoid any temptation.

  • Tanya

    Ive had two co-worker crushes. I acted on 1. No partners, no commitment just great lunch time “outings”. & there were no problems or awkwardness afterwards. He left the job and were still cool. The other 1 I’m working on… He’s like my work BFF. We flirt but that’s it… We hang out, we’ve been over each others house, were always on the phone. I think I’m scared of rejection. Not sure if I’m his type… He likes physically fit women but with a booty…I have the booty….Latley I’ve been having these very sensual dreams before I know I’m going to see him.

  • http://www.gulfcityclubs.com Kirksey Entertainment

    A true player never “shit where you eat at.” Doing the Co-worker thing is bad news.
    ONe

  • Nik

    I’ve had a crush on a co-worker recently. He’s sweet and cute and a geek (just like me). The initial attraction was mutual but we both wanted to keep things low key and me, trying to play myself, thought that we could “hang” and I wouldn’t catch feelings. As you might have guessed, I was wrong. Before I could confess how I really felt the “hanging out”(because you know that got down)became non-existent. We used to talk on the phone or pass emails and that dried up. I don’t think I did anything wrong, and when I ask him, he tells me that “he just going through alot right now.” Still, it was fun while it lasted at leasted. I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone but, sometimes, its exciting.

  • Wmofyr

    Obviously, women like polite men. So if someone says women looking for thugs, they so lying.

  • http://www.wellbehaveddontmakehistory.blogspot.com Miss Malorie

    The whole idea of “don’t shit where you eat” makes sense in theory, but I don’t shy away from the idea of dating/hooking up with coworkers. It’s only logical–it’s the rule of close quarters. (You spend so many more hours with people you work with than with everyone else.) Most people usually meet people at work or at school, and if I hadn’t been okay with the idea of the workplace flirtation/romance/what have you, I would have never ended up meeting the guy who turned out to become my best friend. Obviously though, you have to be pretty choosy–workplace romances can easily turn sour and affect way too many things negatively. However, I think in this case, because the man is married, the right thing was done by not pursuing him. That’s a whole other can of worms.

  • kat

    Co-Worker had crushes on me but I never had a crush on a co-worker.
    And I think the rule “Don`sh*t where you eat” is right.
    I can t imagine I would act until it s a really big crush – I wouldn t want to screw up the place whhere I work and go to everyday.

  • http://theworldoftiffany.wordpress.com Tiffany

    Lucky you having some eye candy at work. And lucky you for having some scruples and knowing he is off limits. At my school it’s nothing but old stuffy white men who teach History and English…There is one gym teacher who is pretty fine though, but I hardly see him.

  • Lisa

    After re-reading my post, I realized a HUGE mistake: my old coworker & I talked about hooking up again but I was thinking, “what the hell for”….its over & done…well for me anyway. Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled program. :)

  • http://realestdudeintheroom.com RDITR

    A wise man told me that you should never put your meat where you get your bread. If I had been smarter, I would have listened. But that’s not the real issue in this story.

    The real issue here is that this dude is married. Never fantasize about a married individual. Never deal with a married person; your friendship with this dude is not really safe. He knows how you feel. If he ever has a weak moment(even successful marriages have lowpoints, you are going to be vulnerable.

    Good luck with that situation.

  • SweetTemptation

    So, browsing this site for the first time and I almost died when I saw the title.

    Me and My co-worker are flirting so hard, getting so close that I fear we are going to cheat on our spouses with each other. Real talk.

    I know it’s probably infatuation, just trying to get what I’m missing at home out of him and vice versa but I really don’t know how to leave it alone.

  • http://loverzquarrel.wordpress.com Sweet Nectar

    I am intellectually infatuated with my co-worker he is sexy and smart. I love an intellectually stimulating conversation. So I can relate to this completely.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Had a crush on a colleague but never told him; I’m not aggressive like that. I don’t even know his name LMAO. It was just an innocent crush; he’s a decent looking man and I was just curious. My crush only lasted a few weeks. I’m over it now. Oh well.

    I can’t remember if I’ve had crushes on past co-workers/colleagues, to be honest.

  • http://thenextthingiknew.com agftmw

    If you act on the feelings of a crush, then things go bad, what was once “fun and flirty” now becomes a very awkward and quite difficult situation. Don’t do it, the marriage scenario is unlikely. Keep your money and your love life separate.

  • MsBlackmanSays

    I’ve done the office thing but made sure I didn’t work directly with them, different departments, bosses, etc., we just worked for the same company. And I did a background check to make sure they weren’t married. Sometimes it’s a fling and other times it leads to something more.

    Married men are a definite no-no but I have crushed on a married man before but I’ve never crossed that line cause I would hate for my mate to do that to me

  • Kay

    I actually have a crush on a co-worker and we flirt alot but he’s a older guy some I doubt if we every go out, two different playing fields, hes like 50 and Im 30! He would have my noise wide open I bet.. hmmmm maybe.. naw!

  • sunshyne84

    I’ve had plenty crushes! There were lots of guys at my last job. lol I dated a coworker before. It can be awkward when its all over, but I’m not about to act a fool at work. You just move on like you would with anyone else.

  • Lolly86

    From September until March I had what I would call an ‘emotional affair’ with a man I work with. He was in a relationship of 3 years and I had recently split up with my boyfriend of 4. He and I became very close but rarely saw each other outside of the workplace. Within work however the ever building sexual tension between us was intense and being noticed by others, we found excuses to be around one another, clicked in everyway possible, had the same hopes, dreams and aspirations. In his words I was the female version of him and the connection between us was overpowering.
    It was a known fact that he was unhappy with his girlfriend. She didn’t allow him to drink, socialize or have female friends.
    March came and he came out for a drink with me one night whilst she was at work. We ended up kissing. 2 days later he left her and their home. We spent the next 3 weeks blissful, finding out we were even more compatible than we originally thought.
    Then she announced she was pregnant.
    Two weeks later he asked if we could cool it. Three weeks after that he was back with her and I found out though facebook.
    Ouch!
    I’m gutted, my heart hurts, I feel used, unwanted, humiliated and betrayed and best of all I have to work with him 6 days a week. Everyone at work knows what happened and his no longer ex pops in for a meal now and then.
    I’m a rather dominant and forthright person so I’ve managed to dissipate all tension between he and I and we are back to what it was like at the start. Getting along with each other better than we do anyone else. I giggle I have a laugh and I smile when required but I’m still feeling the aforementioned.
    I wouldn’t advise a work place fling. It removes the option to fully walk away which will inevitably lengthen the healing process. A ‘crush’ is fine it’s acting upon it that cause the issue. If one person is spoken for listen to that speaking voice, detach your heart the best you can and find another focus – chances are it is going to end badly and when it does seeing them for 40 hours a week is going to hurt like f**k!

    Trust me, it’s still very raw.

  • http://thecocoaluvchronicles.blogspot.com miss cocoa luv

    have a crush now, and all i can think about is jumping on him. could be my hormones, no idea but i just dig him. but i won’t say anything. I don’t even want to know his story. I just want to keep him in my fantasies.

  • AngelicT

    I have a situation. I have been sharing an office with a guy for 5 months,and we just click in every area. For example, both of us find it hard to make important decisions and the list is endless. We were basically three in the office, but usually when the 3rd person leaves even to grab something to eat, then we start talking. We just enjoy each other’s company, and we talk about each other’s interests. In short, I have a big crush on this guy but I am not sure how he feels. And the worse is still to come.I have just left the job because I was on contract and I am about to move to another country, and I am hurting so badly because I feel like there is a lot left unspoken. He asked me if I would be interested to stay should I get a job in the same country. I told him that it depends, But the truth is, if I knew what was going on between us I would stay. That is how much I like him.

    So on the day I left, I gave him a little present and he was really appreciative, and he gave me a big hug but that is all there is. In addition I also made him an online card to tell him that whenever he needs to talk he can give me a call. well, he didnt reply on this one. But he is quite shy. He also gave me something small which I really treasure.

    My main problem right now is that, we have exchanged numbers and none of us has made the initiative to call the other. We are both extremely shy. I am tempted to call but I still believe it is his place to call.I still have a few days and I would really like to go out even for a drink but I am so scared of asking him out when indeed maybe he just likes me as a best colleague to talk to.

    Someone please tell me, what would you have done?

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    Opportunities come but so often in life. With only a few days before you leave the simple yet “shy” thing to do is just say hey we should catch up one last time before I leave. That leaves it open-ended enough for if he sees you as a friend or if you want a date without you saying “let’s go out.” Worse case he says no and you hop on the plane and move on with your life vs never saying anything and spending the rest of your life wondering “what if?”

    Make a move or move on.

  • AngelicT

    Thank you, I just wanted to update you. This has helped. I got the courage to ask him to join me for a drink. And he was quick to respond and he sounds really excited. So we will be off for a drink soon.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    That’s great. Wish you luck. Regardless of how it goes we only live once.

  • E88

    I just started a new job about a month ago. Its a small company. And I have a crush on the admin woman. I’m in my early 20s. I think she is in her late 20s. I work in a different room to her. But I do still get to see her and talk to her sometimes. I know it wouldn’t work out between us and I know I should be concentrating on the job. But I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s so sweet and she has beautiful eyes. I really like her.

  • E88

    I just started a new job about a month ago. Its a small company. And I have a crush on the admin woman. I’m in my early 20s. I think she is in her late 20s. I work in a different room to her. But I do still get to see her and talk to her sometimes. I know it wouldn’t work out between us and I know I should be concentrating on the job. But I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s so sweet and she has beautiful eyes. I really like her.

  • kay

    reading all this makes me feel so guilty, I have just recently come out of a very brief affair with a married guy who i work with. I know it should never of happened, but the crush became so overwhelming and i felt i couldnt control my feelings towards him. I am now dreading going back to work and seeing him again, he has said he hopes we can get things back to normal and pretend it never happened. Luckily i dont see him everyday as he works in a different dept but we do bump into each other about 3 or 4 times a day.I just wish this had never happened because its made me feel hurt and used and rather silly knowing i have to face him again and act as nothing ever happened. I am contemplating a transfer but i have so many friends where i work i really dont want to leave them behind for the sake of not wanting to face him. could anyone offer any advice to what i should do?

    • Anonymous

      You made your bed so now you have to lie in it… or change the sheets. If you really are over him and regret the act with no plans to repeat it simply keep it moving. If you see him, say hi, and leave it at that. There should be no need for any further convos outside the realms of work.

      However, if the feelings of guilt or embarrassment are too much a transfer or all out job change may be in order if you can’y emotionally deal with being in his proximity. Think those are your only two options unless both of you are able to see it as a mistake and leave the affair as something in the past that won’t happen again. 

  • moggy

    I am going through this at the moment (emotional affair) at work with a married woman for 8 months, i’m single by the way…and before anyone says anything…yeah i know!!!……The sexual tension between us is so INTENSE and I don’t know how much longer I can resist the urge, because it is so strong between the both of us, I know I want to and I know she wants to, more than me if i’m honest and she’s starting to really push for it. it has even led to me going no contact with her for a couple of weeks at a time, which i hate having to do by the way, because i feel as though i’m being hurtful towards her,but,i’ve explained the reasons why to her, that i didn’t want to go down that road,but,every time i stop the no contact and start to show my face again all the feelings start to come back for me, and her, and she seems to take this as meaning that i’ve changed my mind and starts to persue me again,sometimes it seems that the only way to put this fire out is to just sleep with her and get it over with,it’s starting to become a real drain on my emotions…any advice  

    • Anonymous

      Sounds like trouble, man. This basically comes down to your moral fiber. I for one respect the sanctity of marriage (that’s a promise before God). Do you really want to come in the middle of that? She might be as sexy as all get out but it sounds like one big headache, not only is she married but also works with you, so if things go bad or public you’re stuck seeing each other every day. Not to mention job risk depending on how your office environment is. 

      I’m sure the devil on your shoulder is saying SHE’s the one that’s married and if she wants to cheat that’s on her, but even if you use that as rationale that’s still another man’s wife. Again, it all boils down to your own moral values, but my advice is just stay away from temptation and only touching you should do is on yourself. 

      • Anonymous

        FWIW, since we’re talking about the “sanctity of marriage”, a single person “hooking up” with a married person is still adultery on the part of the single person. Try a bible some time if you’re going to talk about the “sanctity”.

  • Sylvia101

    My husband left his email open @ home just a few days ago. He had to go out of town for his job training. I saw that his co-worker “that I knew nothing about” was the first person he emailed in the morning before leaving for training. She was @ the original job site. They emailed eachother back and forth all day long ” even though it seemed innocent @ first”, but then she sent a email stating: “I will always love you”!!! He even had her listed in the email address book as ” Sunshine”!!!! I emailed her, and explained that I was his wife and wanted to know what was up with the ” I will always love you message”… She emailed back asking me to call her office phone, and so when I called she explained that they were just friends and that she meant no harm by the email… yeah..uh huh..ok… Not to mention that my husband has been very distant for the past month, and no sex but he secretly watches porn. What do you guy’s thank about my situation?

  • John

    I don’t think you should be reading his emails for a start. Personally…

    If you have an issue you would have been better discussing it with him rather than his co-worker. It sounds like you may have a few trust and communication issues which need to be discussed together (sorry for the pop. psychology).

    You mention him secretly watching porn, truthfully every man does it. It’s no secret. If you were to ask him (in an accepting rather than accusatory manner) he might be completely honest.

    What I would say is that witholding sex (if that’s the scenario) and not communicating are damaging your relationship. I’m sure he’s just as frustrated as you are.

    • Sylvia101

       in a personal conversation by emailAre you married? If so, how would you feel if someone told ur wife “You know I will always love you” in a personal conversation by email? And by the way let me repeat myself… He left his email open, and alll I saw was back and fourth emails between him and this woman, and that’s when I decided to read the emails myself! Thank you for ur response, but no thank you. It’s sad that it’s ok to fucking fantasize, and even sleep with someone else’s partner, but I’m asking a question as someone on the other end of this whole mess, and it seems as if ur trying to bash. Can’t I ask a question? Or would you rather hear telling you how I’m secretly fucking my co-worker or wanting to!!!

  • Krazyface

    I have a huge crush on one of my coworkers, and I can’t believe it took me so long to realize it.  I found myself laughing at all of his stupid jokes, blushing every time he teased me… it wasn’t until I had a dream about him that I realized I was crushing. 

    I’m in a steady relationship and don’t plan on giving that up for my crush.  Not to mention that my crush and my boyfriend know each other, so it’s not like I could get away with anything even if I wanted to.  And my crush is leaving next month to go back to his seasonal job, so there’s a good chance I won’t see him again once he leaves.  It’ll be fun while it lasts.

  • 453109982

    i have a crush on my coworker, one day he asked my no. and texted me few days later asked me go out. i was excited but also afraid and replied i m busy. then few days later, i couldnt help myself and texted him. then we went out for dinner which was just 1 h and half . i think he probably thought i was boring . after that, he still texted me and we chatted online. he told me he likes me but cant promise me anything. i said i kind of like him&i dont care promises i m still young. next day, he asked me go to his house or wants come to my house with wine  .  i said its too fast and he said if 2 people like each other they can go to their houses without fear. i realised he just want sex and i made it clear that it wont happen. he said he made mistakes and i should find a nice man. then after that he still chat with me online said miss me . i should have ignored him but sometime i couldnt help to reply. though i do feel hurt and feel i ve been so naive and silly that thought he might actually like me. ps he is 10 years older than me. i work part time but still will meet him. it will be sooooo awkward but i m gonna try my best to handle it .  dont want lose my job because of this.   any advice

  • TheFourBOy.

    I have A Crush on my BOss..she’s around 35 and im in my mid 20’s…not sure if telling her that I have a small crush on her is really smart or not…i mean ..im not tryin to hook up w/ her..just want to get it off my mind because it’s been weighing me down at work..

  • yikes!

    told a co-worker i liked them in a round about way.  there’s a big age difference between us.  Now it’s just awkward.  not sure how to get beyond this, but will not hit on anyone at work anymore. 

  • amelie

    I think it’s all about controlling how you feel about that person, let him or her know how you feel about them. Do not take a crush to the next level(sex). Just enjoy getting that attention and flirting. It boosts your confidence and improves a relationship back at home. You become one of the happiest person at work because you know someone next door is also looking forward to bumping on you or peeping through your open door to check on you. Its indeed not harmful as long as you both keep it a secret so that it does not bring embarrassment and raises questions from other co-workers

  • Jazzy30 1913

    I have a huge crush on my coworker. Problem is that from what I heard the females in the office has blown his head up & thymine highly of himself. Approaching me lead me top believe that he is used to females running to me. Little does he know that I’m not that female and I needed to be court. Is that too much to ask?

  • Coolgirl1000

    Never had this situation before, because none of the guys at work are even hot enough to consider a second glance. But I would love to experience some sexual tension with a boss who is super attractive  – hmm, no border crossing though.  

  • Jesseguy

    I am going through this situation right now! I am in love with 2 married co-workers!  At first I was really good at keeping my job separate and not taking it home with me but now I feel myself starting to slip mentally.  How do I turn these feelings off?

  • In love 52

    I’m in love with my co- worker. I thought it was a crush but it’s been over a year and a half and my feelings continue to grow stronger every day. We are both directors but he is 8 years younger than me. We talk to each other 24/7 and are very close friends. I have no idea how he feels about me and I am frustrated. Every time I see him I just want to jump his bones. The fact that he hasn’t jumped mine yet leads me to believe he only thinks of me as a friend. Super frustrating cause he messages me all the time. First thing in the morning and last thing at night. He’s told me he loves me too as a friend. Ugh… Knife to the heart. How can I get him to see me as something more? HELP!

  • ToTellOrNotToTell

    I’m also struggling with some really complex feelings for a woman I work with.  Have been for more than 6 months.  We’re both single, around the same age, and seem to really mesh well.  I honestly cannot wait to see her every day, regardless if the reason is personal or professional. All the women I seem to date can’t hold a candle to her, and I think she knows this.  The men in her life may be anywhere from rich, to flashy, to both, but my gut tells me there’s a genuine lack of substance there.  Dreamt about her twice and both times we just fell asleep together. Now believe me – that’s not all that’s on my mind…  Nowhere near.  And if I’m not careful I’ll just start rambling here.  But what I wanted to share with you all is a common understanding of just how complex these coworker situations can get – even if we don’t act on it!  Far beyond anything you usually run into.
    I think I’m going to make a move [finally] but just as soon as I decide, I second-guess.  One of these days I’m just going to go for it.  As someone aptly reminded us above, you only live once.Best of luck to everyone out there, no matter what and where.  Let’s all make our next move our best move.

  • Geeger

    Ugh!! I’m so relieved to see that others are having the same struggle I am. I’m married and have been for 7 years. Never even once have I thought about anyone else othet than my husband until the past year. I think I’ve fallen so badly for my coworker, it’s driving me insane. I can barely control it and the sexual tension is unbareable. He has a long time girlfriend and we’ve never openly discussed it except for playful flirting. I hate these feelings and I don’t want them, but how do you shut them off?!? I just want them to go away and they get worse!! Part of me thinks if we just did it, it wound relieve this lust, but I’ve never cheated and not sure I could handle the aftermath. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Any advice?!?

  • Rachael

    I recently started a new job, about two weeks ago. I was planning on keeping a very professional attitude while on the clock, because I believe in that kind of work-style. However, I worked the night shift once and a coworker of mine was… stunning. In a sense that I don’t usually consider. He’s the single most sarcastic person I’ve met, and we had a fantastic banter going on all night. I honestly did not want to leave work. This morning I worked earlier and didn’t expect to see him, but coincidentally he had to open today! The first thing I said to him was “What are YOU doing here?” to which he had a hilarious come-back, of course. Anyhow, seeing as I’m still training in various positions, he spent a great deal of time in my area while I worked, although he was supposed to be doing other things. Once again, we shared the most glorious sarcastic conversation. I love it. I’m almost positive I wasn’t the only one there who considered what we were doing flirting. Strangely enough, I can’t stop thinking about him. The problem is, he’s my manager… It certainly complicates things. That professional attitude I planned on having has completely gone, and I’ve slipped into my usual position as the flirty innocent feminine office girl. The one that all the women hate, but the men can’t get enough of. It’s a favorable position to be in, yet not in its entirety. Oh well, there’s my story about co-worker infatuation and such.

  • Annie

    I worked with a man for 5 years, 12 hours a night, 3 nights a week, we had a best friend relationship. He was married but getting a divorce now. We now work in the same department but different shifts. I really want to have a much deeper personal relationship with him. I lightly flirt during the every 2 week shift change. How much time does a guy need to work through his mental anguish before I can delve deeper?

  • Karen

    Yep. I know the feeling. I work with a man who is gorgeous. Just drop-dead sexy. I was immidiately attracted to him the moment I saw him. To make matters worse, he’s also very sweet and funny. On top of that he’s married with kids. In addition, I am an engaged and very much in love with my fiance. So, needless to say–not gonna mess with that. I am responsible to my own partner and I certaintly am not going to help anyone sabotage thier marriage. I do fantisize about my co-worker sometimes, but I know that some things are meant to stay in the realm of fantasy, and this is just one of those things. Oh well, at least it makes for some pleasent scenery at work ;)

  • wingz

    I had a huge crush on my coworker. He asked for an application from me and a few weeks later I was puddy. He would drive me to Dunkin after work every night and we would spend hours talking. But we just kept the friendship. I quit eight months later and we lost contact for a year and a half. We caught up with each other and have now been dating for nearly a year cohabiting! If it was meant to be, wait for the right circumstance and it will happen. Never try to take something that is not under the perfect situation (i.e. married man, coworker)

  • T.X

    Yeah I have a crush on a co-worker now. Im 27 and hes about 33-34. Hes nice and I notice how attentive he is towards me, and Ive caught him staring at me quite a few times. And we seem to share common interests…problem is, hes taken. :/ So at the moment, I act like I don’t even like him that way, I just keep it casual. It would be awkward if he found out I liked him…

  • Distracted@work

    I’m a male and I’m currently in a situation where a female co-work and I flirt. Some of it is really beyond flirting…they are outright come-ons. We’re both married and I think it feeds both of our egos. I can’t ever see a situation where we would be alone together. If by some chance we found ourselves alone for even 5 minutes, I would think at least a passionate kiss would ensue but I would never take it any further. Without a doubt, there is an agonizing desire to at least embrace and kiss…at least one time…if nothing else, to kill the tension so we could move on

    I do find myself thinking about her outside of work and I know to at least some degree, she thinks of me outside of work based on comments she has made. We don’t really communicate outside of work other than a couple completely harmless text messages. And when I say “a couple”, I mean a couple.

    I flat-out know this is wrong and inappropriate to have this strong of an attraction. The one time I made a real effort to “turn it off”, she definitely noticed that I had stopped talking to her and she made it a point to let me know. She was clearly hurt or bothered by it.