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Is Light Skin > Dark Skin? (A Question of Complexion)

Posted by NWSO • June 5, 2011 • Printer-friendly

WORDS BY GANGSTARRGIRL

I am a dark skinned woman. I am not a victim. I am not unfortunate. I am not “pretty for a dark skinned girl.” I am not ugly because I am dark. I am brown and beautiful. I was made by my Creator with love, and in the spirit of diversity. I pray for people who self-hate and I pray for those who are ignorant and inane enough to believe that complexion determines what is attractive.

I cringed when I watched the trailer for Dark Girls, a documentary preview that has been making the rounds online (watch here), because of the self-loathing and the pain that these women are still dealing with as a result of lingering post-colonial psychology. No one should hate themselves that much, especially because of someone else.

It’s not just in the Black community that we deal with this type of self-hate, brown people all over the world struggle with this problem—this ridiculous White worship that negates our Creator’s plans. Even if you don’t believe in any type of God, the fact that every inhabitant of this Earth looks different should attest to the verity that this was part of the plan. There isn’t one standard of beauty. Logically, that concept should be simple but it’s not so uncomplicated because people insist on being stubbornly blind to the fact. Mankind has such a strong desire to label everything because of our personal insecurities, that even if we were all the same complexion and had the same type of hair we’d then most likely be divided by height, size, eye color and so on.

Dark Girls is culturally relevant to everyone because African people throughout the Diaspora—including Latinos, and Asians too—need to have these uncomfortable conversations and face the ugly truth so that we can hopefully correct the problem. However, I’m also tired of this rhetoric because we’ve been dealing with this issue for centuries but with no real progress. So…

I want whoever reads this to know that not all “dark girls” hate themselves and that some of us are tired of being the victim of your perceived ugliness, stupidity and low self-esteem. But for those who are still victim to this repugnant train of thought: Like the documentary’s narrator said, it is time that we rise up and be confident because self-love is contagious.

Growing up, I didn’t deal with a color complex in my household because I was fortunate enough to come from a smart family of various brown hues (like most Black people do) who celebrated the beauty and diversity of our motley sun-kissed skin (ranging from vanilla to midnight).

However, in school I dealt with children who weren’t so fortunate. I’ve been called monkey (by Latinos mainly, which is another blog), told that I was “pretty for a dark skin girl;” that I’d be pretty if I were lighter; not chosen by the boy I liked because I wasn’t light; but it still wasn’t enough to break my self-esteem because I learned from childhood that hurt people hurt people—that the same people who insulted my skin color didn’t even like their own.

Conversely, for every person who said my skin made me unattractive, there were three more who said that it was what made me beautiful. There were also beautiful dark skinned women around me who showed me how to be confident because they lead by example and held their heads high or at least engaged in behavior that could change the world, one brown girl at a time, whether they knew it or not.

I had beautiful, talented dark skinned dance teachers who taught me about Katherine Dunham and Judith Jameson, how to tap dance and about the significance of the West African dances I did. I had dark skinned schoolteachers with locks and TWAs (teeny weeny afros) who taught African American history and power to the people. I had my dark skinned top private school, Ivy League-educated, three romance language speaking sister, who is one of the smartest women I know; my beautiful almond-hued mother, a well-read woman who is also one of the smartest women that I know; and then there was my reflection in the mirror—she wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea but perfect for me.

Not only do I love my milk chocolate skin, my high cheekbones, my sharp nose and my almond-shaped eyes but I also like that I am smart, compassionate, multi-talented, humble, not shallow and impervious to other people’s idiocy. Therefore, if you are trifling enough to believe that complexion determines beauty then you don’t deserve consideration enough from me to be hurt by your negativity. I refuse to give you that power.

I am human and yes degradation hurts, but self-love has set me free and it can do the same for you. You can use bleaching cream and get plastic surgery, but it won’t erase the most dangerous form of destruction on Earth—self-loathing.

I love my skin because it’s the skin that people tell me they wish they had, it’s the skin that people tan for, it’s the skin that allows my blemishes and dark marks to fade faster (and in some cases, blend in), it’s the skin that protects me from the sun, it’s the skin that has a beautiful golden undertone that makes bright colors pop, it’s the skin that has attracted the man who loves me dearly even when I am at my worst.

From one dark girl to another: Rise. Tell yourself you are beautiful. Tell a little dark girl that she is beautiful and smart and worthy of love; tell little brown boys, too. Once we believe in ourselves then the world will follow.

Do you think society programs people to think that light is right when it comes to skin color? Do you think it’s an insult to say that someone is “pretty for a dark skinned” person? Are you guilty of teasing someone in your youth because of their complexion? Are you happy with your complexion? Ever wished that you were darker or lighter? Why do you think that complexion is such a polarizing topic for people of color? Do you think people of color actually hate on dark skin more than other cultures? What are your thoughts on the rise of skin bleaching? Do you love the skin that you’re in? Are you intrigued by the concept of the Dark Girls documentary?

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Tagged as: body image, complexion, dark skin vs. light skin

http://www.imperfectlypresent.com jerseychris1

From one dark skinned girl to another, thank you for this. I struggled for YEARS with being the darkest one in my family. I mostly liked the way that I looked, but had a hard time not being light skinned like my mom and sisters. Funny though, as an adult, I think I look better with some sun in the middle of summer than I do when I'm (slightly) lighter in the dead of winter.
http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

Do you think society programs people to think that light is right when it comes to skin color?
Of course. The closer to white you are, the better you are. And that pretty much cuts across all ethnic lines

Do you think it’s an insult to say that someone is “pretty for a dark skinned” person?
Yes because it insinuates that a dark-skinned girl can't be pretty. As if being pretty while in a dark brown shade of skin is an anomaly.

Are you guilty of teasing someone in your youth because of their complexion?
I am guilty of being teased about being dark-skinned...and I'm not even that dark. But those mean lil kids had me feeling like i was the color of charcoal. Thankfully i grew out of that.

Do you think people of color actually hate on dark skin more than other cultures?
Actually i do. And the reason i feel that way is because we are the ones that are placing the emphasis on dark-skinned vs light-skinned. To the white people (and not all white people obviously) we're all black and we all look alike anyway so i don't think they give a hoot whether you're a red bone or blue-black. You're still not white and therefore not right.

What are your thoughts on the rise of skin bleaching?
Bleaching is far from being on the rise lol. People have been bleaching for ages. If nothing else, its just become more popular with celebrities. I remember when i was in my late teens telling my mom that i used Ambi and she nearly knocked my head off because in her day (the 60s/70s) Ambi was only known as a bleaching cream and she thought i was bleaching myself. (I wasn't lol)
http://qalil-com.blogspot.com Qalil Little

I don't think the women in the documentary are self hating as you describe them. I doubt they have any self loathing or self hate. They are just describing the pain they have felt as the result of OTHER people's hate.

Yes, society teaches that light is right. Just take a look at the next magazine rack the next time you pass one and while you're watching TV count the number of dark skinned woman you see.

POC's worst enemies are themselves. No one has betrayed black people like other black people. Che Guevarra was captured because the poor peasants he believed he was fighting for betrayed him to the authorities to their detriment.

I love documentaries about black women. I enjoyed Conversations with Womyn and look forward to this one as well.

Qalil.com
MetLifeSnoopy

As a light complexioned Black woman, it's always other Black women who bring up my skin color in the form of them questioning my racial background and TELLING me I MUST BE 'mixed'(biracial) because of how light I am. I once had someone tell me I don't know anything about being a Black woman because I am light skin. And then there are Black men who think shouting, "Aye, light skin" and "Damn, light skin"is a good way to talk to a woman. SMDH! You know what though? I notice people are always portraying darker complexioned women as victims when they are the first ones to make a comment about how another woman "ain't cute just because you are light skin."

Ambi2hot4u

We have to understand the history and psychology of the way dark skinned women are treated in society. Once you have truly done that you can understand why dark skinned females react to light skinned females the way they do. Not to say the way you feel isn't valid but I'm just saying take a deeper look. Most dark skinned women get passed up for lighter skinned women in many different arenas so that hurt can definitely influence the way they interact with lighter skinned girl. Think of the bully victim dynamic.

Smilez_920

@MetlifeSnoopy

Finally, as a light skin sister I agree with you a 100%. I know that we don’t see a wide variety of dark skin women in the media. But I also know as a light skin women I don’t walk around with a medal of honor because I am lighter than my mother or cousins. Beauty is Beauty. And I think more dark skin women need to stop playing victim after a certain age, because you then put light skin on a pedestal.

Also there was one woman in the documentary that said a man wouldn’t take her out in public because she was dark. I think he didn’t take her out because a) she allowed it but still given him the indoor loving and him not claiming her 2) she wasn’t that cute not because she was dark she just wasn’t that cute. (Also she was to grown to let some man do that to her in the first place)
http://www.dashofreality.wordpress.com Dash

I ALWAYS have to ask in these situations Who are the parents and where did these kids learn to hate themselves? That was the first thing I asked with Chris Rock's documentary. Where would his daughter have heard all this good hair talk? She was only a baby pretty much. Was it in the household? Why? Then there are issues for the whole entire family to address. I always question that first and foremost and after watching the 'Dark Skinned Girls' trailer it seems like A LOT of it was in the household, which is the saddest part of all. The cycle starts from home and needs to be broken.
Cherie

To honest..I didn't like the preview to the 'Dark Skin' documentary. Not all dark skinned women feel like victims! I am a dark skinned woman born of a light skinned Mother. I have NO issues..with my race, my skin colour, with being 'dark'. I've never had any desires to want to be lighter skinned...I love me for being me! as a child my Mum continually told me I was beautiful and I was always my Dad's Princess. Until I was 15 I went to an all white school, lived in an all white area and all my friends were white. No one ever commented that my Mum was of a lighter complexion to me..despite the various shades in my family, they saw my family as black!! we moved home and I attended a mixed school and for the first time I was surrounded by my own people and it was the first time I became aware that 'some' black people had a preference for lighter skin women. How crazy is that!!!.... But we must remember not all black people think like this..I look at myself in the mirror, I look at me and I like what I see!
Going back to the documentary..the sister who said her man wouldn't take her outside because she was dark skin, should have kicked that man to the curb a long time ago! whatever shade she was the man was a damn fool..end of story! there are plenty of black men who love a dark skinned woman.
Cherie

And no I'd never bleach either..
c0c0puffz

I agree with Cherie. It wasn't until I moved in with my relatives that I noticed the emphasis on skintone. I know some people think this movie is positive but I see it as another pity me movie.
Rastaman

As a child in the 70s was when I first heard this debate over the beauty of dark versus light skin and the trend then within the black community was “Black is beautiful”; I am Black and I am proud and the “Darker the berry the sweeter the fruit”. In my own family we covered the hues of the black complexion spectrum and so even when I encountered a fascination with light skin and mixed heritage from my peers it never really fazed me because it seemed in my mind a closed topic, especially when the 90s rolled around and people were declaring that light skin guys were out. Unbeknownst to me there was an explosion of a fascination with lighter is better obsession in much of Africa and the Caribbean. So much so that there is an epidemic of skin bleaching, which I found amazing as I remember the amount ridicule a high school classmate underwent when someone noted that he was bleaching his skin.
I am a dark skin man I remember as a kid once desiring less thick hair because it proved so difficult to comb but my parents solved that by having it trimmed skin tight. But I have no recollection of ever wanting a lighter complexion. My hero growing up was Pele, the soccer great and he was dark like me and it was reassuring. Plus once I hit puberty I wanted my dad’s dark ebony skin because it was cool looking and never showed blemishes. I do recall teasing other schoolmates about their dark complexions but in that context of my high school it was a rarity to not be teased about something. From being called an albino for being too light to the Shadow for being too dark. So it never struck me as being particularly notable.
When it came to women I found attractive, skin complexion has never played much of a factor in my choices. I am attracted to beautiful women and they come in all shades in my book. I tended to be more particular to women of a darker complexions, big smiles, thick lips and natural/short hair. So even when I did not date women who were exclusively black they still had a dark complexion look. There are many dark skin women who I have encountered who did not share my democratic approach to dating of course. As they expressed preference for light skin, light eyes and “good hair”. Cannot say it ever bothered me, especially since their lighter skin peers always seem to have a preference for my dark skinned self.
It saddens me to hear how much of issue skin complexions are to so many folks still. A few years ago I happen to encounter a West African woman who constantly wore hair weaves and bleached her skin and aspired to only date and marry African men of mixed race ancestry. I found that to be quite tragic because I did not see her as unattractive and could not understand her seeming obsession. She is not alone of course has I have come to understand and I have been told my viewpoint in this area is unusual. For instance there are not many women who are more beautiful than Kenya Moore; looking at her should make any dark/light debate moot.
Tea

I agree! I have not experienced as much of a skin color issue but I know in terms of hair, this is also the case. White people may be fascinated with our different types of hair and may not know much about it, but its much more likely that Black people that come with negativity & preferences about it in my experience.

I also agree about loving yourself! Its starts on the inside.
Jamal

They call me MADBLACK, LOL, I take that name to heart, sometimes I felt rejected ridiculed and the whole nine, at the end of the day don't let what people say dictate how you react!!! Being this color makes my skin stronger
justme

Lighter skin is seen as more attractive in societal norms. WHY, i do not have a clue. I grew up hating my nappy hair and darker complextion because I compared myself to my cousin who was light skin with good hair.

But as I grew older I learned and finally realized that I am gorgeous because I am me. My caramel complexion, my full lips, my natural hair (underneath the yaky 1B/27).

Whether it's skin color or something else, society will always attempt to set a standard on what normal beauty should look like. But that is why we have to love ourselves enough to see past mainstream beauty and recognize who we are individually. I will never be light, I will never have good hair, but hey I'm ok with that. I am ME.

We will never be able to eliviate societal expectations, but we can love ourselves and one another to the point of saying you are beautiful just as you are.
StoryofaWoman

I have yet to watch the whole preview of the documentary but I am definitely excited for the full movie. I think we all know that the media teaches us that "white is right," and the lighter and and more "mixed" you look the better. I find it funny that I am a "light-skinned" woman that didn't know I was light until I kept being referred to as being light. But then I am also compared to other "high yellow" girls and then I am not light enough. I think now it's not enough to be light, you have to have the full package-light skin, long straight or curly hair (that is natural), and light brown or green eyes. Stacy Dash has become a acceptable substitute of the light skin rule, despite her not being that dark, but still having that biracial look. My daughter's father is Trini and I noticed that the same color complex exists with them-they call themselves "douglas" and pride themselves on their Indian ancestry and thinner wavier hair. There is definitely a need for this to be corrected, but as Black people we need to check ourselves first and foremost, since we highly perpetuate this standard. I think some people do loathe themselves because they are constantly taunted for being born of dark skin, when they should be celebrated for being beautiful. And by the way, as ridiculous and insulting as "pretty for a dark skin girl" comment is, it's even more ridiculous when you get "you are so pretty, AND you light, or BECAUSE you are light" type comments.
Starita34

This is absolutely beautiful:
"I love my skin because it’s the skin that people tell me they wish they had, it’s the skin that people tan for, it’s the skin that allows my blemishes and dark marks to fade faster (and in some cases, blend in), it’s the skin that protects me from the sun, it’s the skin that has a beautiful golden undertone that makes bright colors pop, it’s the skin that has attracted the man who loves me dearly even when I am at my worst."

To those saying stop playing the victim, I gotta say-the documentary is about education, about having a voice. It's not asking anything of you, and yes, every shade has their own issues. But this documentary is not anti light skin, it's pro dark skin. Let the women speak, and HEAR them.
Minejaz

To b honest I was the darkest person n my family (the ones I lived with)...sooooooo it was a shock to me wen I found out I'm not really dark at all. But I did have this weird thing were there were patches on my face n back n down my chest were I was different colors, or shades. I hated it ask thru middle sol n high school...but I also wouldn't cover it up I knew I had to fight they it to embrace it later n now...uh-uh u can't tell me nuthin
http://www.magz725.blogspot.com Maggie

I was in the middle of doing home work when I read your post. It honestly touched me so much I dropped everything to go post about it. First I was going to write about it on my facebook then I realized the people on there are ...well they just wouldn't not appreciate it half as much as writing it on my blog for the world to see.

The comment at 4:50 - 5:20 hit home completely for me. I often find my self thinking why about 89% of my friends are either in serious relationships or engaged and I have been single for over 5 years now. But within those 5 years I can't tell you how many men have tried to pursue me sexually. The second I tell them I'm looking strictly for a relationship they back away. The brave ones always come back to try again. I've even had one guy who convinced me I was the only lady for her turned out so were the 6 other girls ha! It definitely is a stigma with "sexy chocolate skin" but I'm beyond that because I've learned my worth and that is more than enough for get me by. I wish I could find a little chocolate girl and tell her how beautiful she is because I could only imagine how the world makes her feel.

Thank You so much for posting it. My heart really appreciates it.

(When is the documentary coming out?)
Starita34

This is absolutely beautiful:
"I love my skin because it’s the skin that people tell me they wish they had, it’s the skin that people tan for, it’s the skin that allows my blemishes and dark marks to fade faster (and in some cases, blend in), it’s the skin that protects me from the sun, it’s the skin that has a beautiful golden undertone that makes bright colors pop, it’s the skin that has attracted the man who loves me dearly even when I am at my worst."

To those saying stop playing the victim, I gotta say-the documentary is about education, about having a voice. It's not asking anything of you, and yes, every shade has their own issues. But this documentary is not anti light skin, it's pro dark skin. Let the women speak, and HEAR them.
Smilez_920

One question; why haven’t some dark skin sisters taken a tip from their dark skin brothers and not worry about what others say about their skin. Women of all shapes colors and walks of life go crazy for a sexy chocolate man, Why don’t the women forget about what society deems beautiful (ie: BET and Hip Hop video's and modeling) and just do them.
http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

Not to nitpick but um if dark skin women received the same kinds of "reviews" as dark skin men, we would happily "takes tips" from them. It wasn't even that long ago that "light skin men" were the it thing. So honestly, there are really no tips to take because the context is entirely different.
The one thing i can agree with is that we should do our own thing. But thats easier said than done when the world tells you non-stop that you're a hot mess because of your skin color.
Smilez_920

When I say take tips I’m talking about taking tips on how to ignore what the world says it beautiful and just love yourself. The world doesn’t perceive dark skin women as beautiful because some dark skin women don’t perceive each other as beautiful. I have sat in the room with other dark skin girls and hear them go "o0o she so dark she ain’t cute " How do you expect the world to love dark skin or not down play it when dark skin sisters don’t even love each other. Like she not as dark or damn near close. I just think after a certain age this type of shouldn’t be grasping the depths of your soul to the point that you think a man won’t take you out in public b/c your dark skin (referring to the lady in the video) .
Rastaman

The easy thing is to blame dark skin women as being willing victims but we are all victims they just manifest more psychological hurt. As a dark skin man, I see how we perpetrate prejudice in how we express our interest in women based on their skin complexion. We have all for the most part internalized the color complex, many dark skin women just happen to be the most vulnerable to the harm.

Many of us do a better job on other black people's self worth than any white supremacist could ever imagine doing.
Jourdipoo

My skin is beyond fair. I have yet to see anyone that is fully black that is lighter than me or even my complexion and for that I have grown to loathe it. I have been told I'm mixed or white even though I'm not and it makes me feel like I'm not black enough. People of darker complexions always complain about being too dark but no one ever thinks of how it would be to be too light.
http://theevolutionofem.blogspot.com menluvmysmile

“Do you think society programs people to think that light is right when it comes to skin color?
I absolutely think that post colonial ideals in regards to skin colour permeates in every medium we use (magazines, television etc)
Do you think it’s an insult to say that someone is “pretty for a dark skinned” person?
Absolutely it is like giving a compliment and then taking it away. It is like saying ‘He’s handsome for a heavier guy’. It brings a very negative connotation.
Are you guilty of teasing someone in your youth because of their complexion?
No because I am on the darker spectrum of brown I never did tease anyone.
Are you happy with your complexion?
When I was younger I used to wish I had lighter skin as my siblings as we all had different fathers (my brothers father was black and white) my sisters father (white and native) so we went from darkest to lightest as I was the eldest and darkest, my brother the middle child and much lighter than I and my sister the most fairest of us three. As I got older I truly began to appreciate my hue and now would not trade it for the world. With age comes wisdom but most of all acceptance and love of self.
Ever wished that you were darker or lighter?
I did used to wish I was lighter as it made sense in my mind that it was easier to just be, just live. However I learned as I got older is that we all have our own insecurities. Skin colour is something we have yet to shake as being black peoples; I see the beauty in the varying hues of brownness.
Why do you think that complexion is such a polarizing topic for people of color?
It has a lot to do with our history as people (as a whole) colonization I think has left the ‘thumb print’ and we have through the ages used it as status quo. Now trying to remove the value of light skin versus dark skin will take probably a lot more time in undoing than its doing several hundred years ago.
Do you think people of color actually hate on dark skin more than other cultures?
I think it is prevalent in most cultural backgrounds that are not ‘anglo’. I have a friend who is of East Asian descent and she even remarked how her family members paid more attention to one of her fair coloured nephews than the darker one. Even some Asian friends of mine try to keep their skin colour as light as possible during the summer months.
What are your thoughts on the rise of skin bleaching?
I think it is unnecessary, not a choice for me. If I were to have children I would let them know that whatever colour they are is something special and is just another way in making everyone unique. Just like the texture of their hair is beautiful, healthy hair and that is what good hair is, healthy hair. The same goes for skin colour, light and dark is just that another hue and there is no wrong or right colour, all colour is beautiful and should be made to feel beautiful.
Do you love the skin that you’re in?
Absolutely.
Are you intrigued by the concept of the Dark Girls documentary?
I saw the trailer and am curious to see the documentary, some of what was said I can relate and identify with wholeheartedly.
http://thesearethemomentsofourlives@wordpress.com Vonda

geez, you ask such complex questions.

As a dark skinned girl during my youth, I would say that society contributed to my belief that fair complicated girls had more oportunities and were rewarded because of their appearance. I would add that my mother (who was much lighter than I) reinforced that my dark skin was beautiful by telling me how lovely I was.

The only way that we as a society can over come these stereo types is to teach our young (dark complicated) girls and boys that they are beautiful regardless of their skin tone. Education begins in the home and then they will be better equipped to fight the negative attitudes they hear outside the safety of their homes. JMO
QuoteMan

One of my heroes, brotha Malcom, asked this over 40 yrs ago:

Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other? ………………….

And yet, today, and we are still having this convo.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life -John H. Miller

We need to stop blaming the media for our shortcomings; the media cannot teach you anything that a part of you does not believe.

Now, where are my Kelly Rowlands?!
http://www.AConleyCreation.com AConleyCreation

Beautiful post. I think even those of us who are white can really take something from this, to have a better understanding of this perceived stigma to being able to accept our own complexion. Far too many people still worship the sun in spite of the dangers.

Is there more of a negative perception of darker skin than lighter skin for black people? I have heard both sides of the fence from acquaintances & friends, and even those that are not black. I've heard other women say they found a man unattractive because he was dark and then also hear that the lighter-complected black men are pretty boys, they get what they want and can't be trusted. And I've also heard of lighter-skinned people tanning!

Love begets love. If we learned to love ourselves better, we could then love and respect one another more.
jaclynsd

Both my sister and I are light skin Latinas and we both got to see how we got compared to our darker complexion cousins. How we would get praises for being “pretty” and our cousins praised for having nice bodies. But never a word about my cousins being beautiful, just stacked, like that was the only thing that could be said. I was too young to understand the history behind it, but the hurt was deep on both sides. Maybe in a dif ways of course but still there was pain. I always thought it was so foolish because we were being praised for being “gueras” (light skin) and I’m thinking what’s the big deal we were born this way? I mean its not like we worked for this or oh it’s a great accomplishment. What’s the big f*cking deal?! Its funny how the mentality went across all lines especially in the Latino community because we come in an array of differ shades.

Seeing the pain in my cousins’ face when “praises” were going around wasn’t a good feeling either. It made me sad for my cousins because I knew they were both beautiful and smart. After all we’re family and that was so unnecessary. My sister would eat it up but I was so uncomfortable, and felt embarrassed and ashamed for those handing out so called praises.

I guess for me it was God’s way of preparing me for future struggles to make a wrong a right in a sense. My daughter is a beautiful brown skin Latina and to this day (she’s 13) she knows her shade is beautiful and has no issues about her complexion. She’s even said once “mom can you believe people pay to be my color and I was born w/it” I can’t change the past or what was said to my cousins but I can change our future and our thoughts for the better regardless of color.

To Gangstargirl thank you for your writing this it was powerful, touching and beautiful all at the same time.
http://thagoddess9.blogspot.com/ ThaGoddess

good lord MetLife, I was damn persecuted in high school and Jr. high. 'you ain't all black'. ostracized and worse because of my hair and skin. 'you think you're all that', etc. BUT I survived it. And I still almost visibly cringe when some fool tries to holler at me and tells me how 'pretty' my hair is. That statement above all others will ensure I do NOT talk to you.

ok. sorry. personal tangent venting. lol
http://whatsonmymind09.blogspot.com Marcia H.

Do you think society programs people to think that light is right when it comes to skin color?
Absolutely!

Do you think it’s an insult to say that someone is “pretty for a dark skinned” person?
I find it to be completely offense. How dare you say someone is "pretty for a dark skinned girl" like all dark-skinned woman are ugly? It's a terrible back-handed compliment that no woman should say thank you to.

Are you guilty of teasing someone in your youth because of their complexion?
I was never one of those kids who teased people period. I was a friendly child who wanted to get to know other people.

Are you happy with your complexion?
I am completely satisfied with my complexion. I never wanted to be light-skinned. They turn red and bruise easily. Why would I want that? No offense to my light skinned people, love yall!

Why do you think that complexion is such a polarizing topic for people of color?
When the white man brought us over and put the light-skinned people in the house and the darker ones stayed outside that messed up our mentality. Especially since they (white people) for telling us colored people that "white is right".

Do you think people of color actually hate on dark skin more than other cultures?
Absolutely we do! It happens in homes and families and let's take a look at the colored women in the media...

What are your thoughts on the rise of skin bleaching?
I think that has to be the saddest thing ever. Bleaching your skin? smh...

Do you love the skin that you’re in?
Yes I absolutely do...

Are you intrigued by the concept of the Dark Girls documentary?
Totally!
http://www.gangstarrgirl.com GangStarrGirl

Thanks for the compliment Jaclyn. I'm so glad that you are raising your daughter to be proud of her complexion. Hopefully more mothers out there will follow your lead.
MsJoie_de_Vivre

I'm a hardcore beach bum, fiend for it on the regular and when I would ask some of my girlfriends to join me, 9 out of 10 would disgustedly reply, "Uh uh girl, I'm not trying to get any darker!
I remember always thinking, 'WoW -- is it that serious?' and for them it was. I was equally, perhaps even more astonished that in Korea, my Asian friends gave the exact same response. They took it to another level though by wearing jumbo head visors, long sleeve shirts and pants, gloves, AND a fabric face mask all in the dead of summer so that not an inch of their complexion was affected by the sun.

IMO, society definitely played a major role in programming people to believe 'light is right'. I must have been jookin' hard on 'em because none of that brain-washing could tackle me. Skin complexity has never been an issue for me. I love how I look after being in the sun all day. I would never tease someone or say they are 'pretty for a dark skin person'. For me, beauty isn't conditional.

Complexion is such a polarizing topic for people of color because it causes people to be treated differently on account of something they had no choice over. They were born that way and should be treated equally.

Skin bleaching was a common thing in my culture, but I would never do it. Most people that I have seen with bleaching done look strange to me; almost sickly. I can't knock anyone that does it though, to each his own. I would have to knock everything else out there in the world manufactured to change your appearance whether permanent or temporary (weaves, acrylic nails, contact lenses, make-up, etc).

I am really interested in seeing the Dark Girls documentary. I met Bill Duke at the ABFF years ago in an actors workshop and he is kind of intense. He definitely likes to discuss issues in the Black Community. (He also did that movie on DL brothers, Cover) Might be naively optimistic to say, but I hope it will be a step in the right direction to UN-conditioning society.
lolly

People with light skin age bad so it all becomes fair play. I am 40 and I still get carted, I still seriously look like I am in my 20's all my light friends often get mistaken for my mother.