It’s no secret that women are catty. I can’t count the number of times I’ve known a woman to not like another woman for some arbitrary reason. As a result, most women I know have more male friends than female. Guys on the other hand tend to have tighter bonds. Of course there are exceptions to that on either side of the coin, but hear me out.
I began pondering the beef that often brews between women the other day as I was headed to the eye doctor and I realized what it is: competition. Regardless of whether or not they want to admit it most women are always competing or comparing herself with another woman at every opportunity. You see it when the glammed out sister in heels walks into a train car and all the other women size her up. You can tell what they’re thinking just by the look on their faces.
“Oh, she thinks she’s all that.”
“Where does she think she’s going dressed like that?”
“She looks like a slut.”
All accented with eye rolls and sucked teeth.
Sure, some women may actually be admiring the sister’s swag but chances are those quiet kudos are in the minority. Deep down inside every woman wants to be the hottest woman in the room and if she doesn’t she’s probably lying to herself. Every woman should want to be the hottest thing alive because if you don’t think you’re hot no one else will.
The problem is there’s always going to be someone hotter than you. Stacy Dash and Halle Berry are hot but Beyoncé is hotter (that’s debatable but just play along). The point is there’s only so long a woman (or man) can be in her prime. That washboard stomach, sculpted legs and perky breasts you had in college have a short shelf life. Pop out a few kids or just grow old over time and what was once firm and tight is now flabby and loose. Even if a woman like Angela Bassett is still hot for her age, there’s always that 20-year-old version of her that’s going to catch the eye of men of all ages.
This is where jealousy comes in. I’ve seen older women blatantly cockblock on the younger sister on the come-up and size up her mini skirts and low-cut blouses with disdain. It’s because she used to be the hot chick at the office until the starting-salary hussy came in to steal her thunder. It’s a rare few women that can keep their composure and have enough confidence in themselves to let the youngin’ live.
Therein lies the solution: self-confidence. If women spent more time focused on themselves than worrying about what the next chick is doing or wearing there wouldn’t be so much drama. Again, I’m not saying all women but there’s enough of them out there that this applies to. Because half the time the sister “hating” is the one that needs to step her game up. It might not always be physically or fashionably, but most certainly mentally.
I always commend an older sister that still has it going on and I’m not talking about some celebrity chick. I mean just some everyday older sister that can still turn a young man’s head. I see them everyday and even bagged me one way back in the day. #GoMe
A few weeks back I sent out the following tweet:
“I never understand how letting yourself go becomes an option.”
It doesn’t get any realer than that. Yeah, some folks are “genetically predisposed” to be heavyset and some wind up with a slower metabolism but at the end of the day it’s all on you whether you’re healthy of not. You can’t blame anybody else but yourself if your clothes and hairstyle are out of date. I was in the audience at a panel in Harlem a few weeks ago and one of the panelist said something to the effect of, “You can’t ‘compete’ with a younger person when you still look like an older person.” A young girl rockin’ vintage clothes is different than an old lady rockin’ a similar outfit from her attic.
So kudos to the mature women that keep up with the times and look like they can still get (and give) it like their younger counterparts. The sad part is some of the older women that let time pass them by decide to hate on the older sister that’s still doing it up. It’s not her fault you didn’t keep yourself together. So the only person you can blame is…
Yup, you guessed it, yourself.
Why do you think women are so catty towards each other? Is it society’s fault that so many women compare themselves to each other? Have you noticed many women sizing one another up on the street? Do you think that the problem is that every woman wants to be the hottest woman in the room? Shouldn’t you want to be that anyway? Why don’t men go through similar drama? Would you be mad at or commend an older person that kept themselves together better than you? Do you think that failing to stay with the times is a big problem in dating for older folks? Is letting yourself go an option for you?
Speak your piece…