First and foremost, I appreciate everyone’s patience while my designer and I were dealing with the site being hacked and redirecting to random web pages for the past two-three days. The problem looks to be solved and I return you to your regular NWSO experience. If you were unable to get on you may have missed Dating Like an Adult and your weekly Wet Wednesdays fix.
WORDS BY JC
I saw a guy on the train and I noticed that he was noticing me. After a few tentative glances (from my side) and a few tentative glances and smiles (from his side) I smiled at him. Nothing was said, we just smiled.
He got off the train two stops before me.
Two months pass and I see the guy again on the train platform. We smile at each other as we realize we recognize each other. We have a chance to talk for a bit. Before he gets on the train (the platform is packed and I chose to wait for the next) he asks if I want to take his number. I decline, saying he can have mine.
In the back of my head I already knew what was going to be proven to me but, What the heck, I thought, let me be open-minded, because, “Hey, you never know.”
He called the next day, but didn’t leave a message. I knew it was him because I don’t give out my number like that to be wondering “whose number is this?” I was busy with work when he called so I sent a text later saying how I was sorry I missed his call but I’d call him back later if this was in fact who I thought it to be.
It was but his response was, “Yeah its Tony. I’m out w/my wife I’ll call U 2mrrw”
I knew it!!! Married.
“Don’t bother,” I wrote back. “No need to.”
Maybe I should have added “Take care” because he sent me a text the next morning asking if we could “talk.”
Because I’m a curious little beetoch I said, “Sure…email me.” Plus, I KNEW what was coming and I felt like telling him off. I gave him my hardly-used-except-for-online-dating-sites email address and fielded his “I just want to be friends. Why would you assume otherwise?” email.
“Because I’m not naive and don’t disrespect me by acting as if I am. Any time a man goes out of his way to befriend a woman who isn’t in any way associated with his wife, his motives are unsavory…and even then it’s a cause to wonder. You see me twice and you ask for my number AFTER I decline to take yours. Without knowing anything about me. Who looks at someone and decides they want to be friends? Yeah, .right…”
“I totally agree with everything you said and can’t deny that you are very attractive woman!!! Sorry if I offended you in any sort of way!”
My response to his response:
“Oh, is now the part where I am charmed by the compliment and the half-assed apology and say, ‘Yeah, let’s be friends…’ Lose my number and my email address. If you see me on the platform pretend you don’t know me at all. And a piece of advice, not all women are as nice as me… Be careful instead of finding someone to fuck on the side you can end up being the one who gets fucked!”
With his cell phone and his email and the info he gave me on the platform I could have become Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction if I wanted to. Men are so stupid.Honestly, I wasn’t thinking. I guess I was just too tickled pink that not only did he remember me but he also asked for my number—that should have swayed me to wonder. Guys that are truly single never act so fast with me.
Where has this type of behavior come from and why do some married men or men in relationships find it okay to holla? Is it because they already have something at home and they figure “what the hell?”
Also, and I this is me playing devil’s advocate, I like honesty as much as the next yet to text me back and say, “I’m with my wife,” as if you’re with a buddy should I have responded, “Oh, cool beans, hit me back when you can.” Did he think maybe if I act like it doesn’t matter it won’t matter to her? I don’t follow this logic, which I’m sure is the point.
The days of married men being sneaky are over And it isn’t just married men. I have also come across men that if you tell them you’re in a relationship when they ask you out the next sentence out of his mouth is, “He doesn’t have to know.” WTF!!! Is that supposed to make me want you…to blatantly disrespect what I have with someone else?
I know women act the same way so this is not about men vs. women, this is a general question to both sexes inspired by Tony the Tiger Woods.
Do people still respect the idea of committed relationship anymore? Shouldn’t someone be able to go into a marriage an expect their spouse not to give out his/her number? How would you respond if someone you met texted you and nonchalantly mentioned they were married? Would you buy his/her story of looking for a “friend?” Would you even respond to their text/email once you found out? What would you do if you found out your spouse was still acting like they were single? Do you think a married person should be making new friends of the opposite sex that their spouse doesn’t know?
Speak your piece…