Can You Love Someone & Still Have Feelings For Your Ex?

0 Posted by - December 14, 2011 - Guest Socks, Wet Wednesdays [Weekly Erotica Series]

WORDS BY KAYE MICHELE

She woke up angry—incensed. Body shuddering in 85 degree weather from the chill of pure, unadulterated anger. She couldn’t believe it all ended like this.

Three months ago, she was being kissed in unimaginable places. The whispered “let go” in her ear causing her to release long moans of satisfaction and unimaginable orgasms galore, had her clinging to his white shirt, his earthy sweet smell, combination smoke, combination sexy, all surrounding her, his kisses echoing on her bottom lip like the tannens on a good pinot noir, his noir skin against her mahogany, all the memories of his wood on her mind even still as she contemplated all of the ways that she could make his emotions pay for just leaving her.

You don’t leave your soul mate, right?

She was angry.

She still hadn’t quite figured out what exactly happened; how the passion became distaste; how the love became hate—it literally happened overnight. An innocent question, not meant to be anything innocuous or malicious and suddenly, it was all over.

She hadn’t had any desires since.

She moved from day to day, night to night, event to event, meeting to meeting without any feeling. Ate food without any true flavor. She got a paper cut, watched the trickle from the accidental nick pool in a tiny, pin sized bubble and yet didn’t feel a thing. She was numb to just about everything.

He recognized numbness when he saw it. He saw her jogging in the mornings, her stride strong and true, her face an empty focus. It was an unusual combination of pride in what she did and yet emotional despair. He watched her push herself to unimaginable limits—run nearly double the normal miles she would do every other day, her legs clearly feeling the burn—her face belied nothing. No emotion. No feeling. Nothing.

He fantasized about making her feel again. Conjured up images of her body pressed against the brick wall of the neighboring house, his sweat mingling with hers, their breaths in sync and yet staccato from the movements their bodies were making, his thrusts matching hers, her feelings all over her face. Finally, he envisioned his lips to her chocolate neck, leaving his mark there, dragging his tongue to taste her where her natural salt trailed. He wanted to make her feel again.

If only he actually knew her.

He had to fix that.

[dc]S[/dc]he stopped and took a deep breath. She woke up the morning, chest heaving and heart in a vise grip from the pain. Heartache was real—it was real and frightening and anyone who said otherwise was just being completely dishonest. She couldn’t deal with the pain, she just wanted it to go away but nothing she did to calm herself down would work.

So she ran.

She threw on her shorts, pulled on a sports bra, tossed on a tank top, and she ran. She ran past the fruit stand she usually walked by, past the barber shop, the Rite Aid, past her usual benchmark, ran until she couldn’t run anymore, until she couldn’t run anymore, until she looked up and realized that she was at least four-and-a-half miles from home.

She leaned against the storefront. Her legs were on fire. It was the only thing she could feel. She wasn’t sure she was ever going to feel anything else again.

“That was brutal,” a voice uttered.

She paused; her thoughts interrupted, and looked around.

He was standing there, leaning against the wall, sweat dripping into the crevice of his pectoral muscle, bald caramel head glistening, curious brown eyes peering at her. Smiling a lopsided smile, he said again, “That was brutal. 5.5 miles in 20 minutes… Got something to prove?”

She shook her head as if to clear it. “Huh? Were you following me? Wait…who the hell are you? And why were you following me?”

She shrank away from the wall, shielding her eyes from the early morning sun, and peered at him. His baritone, deep and true, chuckled. “We run the same route every day for the most part,” he responded. “I usually pass you by but today you blew by me. I stopped at the Rite Aid about a quarter-mile back. My car’s parked around the corner from here so when I saw you leaned up I decided to stop. So…something to prove today?”

He smiled again, a bright white tooth smile, complete with two tiny dimples in the corner of his mouth. She peered at him again. “Don’t worry,” he continued, leaning into the wall. “I don’t bite.”

She frowned.

He straightened, looking her in the eye. “I’m sorry,” he said, extending his hand. “I didn’t mean to catch you off guard or anything. I was just curious and I truly thought you were beautiful and I really did want to know what caused you to run twice as long as before and now I’m just sorta babbling so maybe I should just start over by saying, ‘Hi, my name is Bryan…what’s yours?’”

She looked at him for a long moment.

He stood there, hand extended, patiently waiting.

She took his hand. “I’m beautiful…is that the best you got?”

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  • http://www.fromraewithlove.com Rae

    I’m not going to answer all of the questions lest I incriminate myself.  *Pleads fifth* Nice story!!  I do believe you can love someone and still have feelings for an ex.  People you truly love – most of the time, the love is still there – maybe not the ‘like’ but the love is.  Re: moving on from an ended relationship – I have had some hard days with one in particular.  However, you have to keep moving.  I believe in being stretched out on the floor for a while and being depressed and distraught if needed, but you MUST get up.  Maybe not jump back into another relationship, but definitely get back up. Re: heartbroken and into a new relationship – that’s a tough one.  I really don’t think it’s the best idea.  You need to give yourself time to heal so you’re not projecting effery and foolishness onto the new person.  Friendship (without benefits) is fine.  But at least give yourself some breathing room.  I personally had to learn this process of having a seat for a while.

  • Cherie

    No!!…an ex is an ex for a reason. Once the initial shock, pain and disappointment has reduced/ gone…you keep it moving! I thought I loved my ex but looking back I doubt it was ever “love”. I love the man I’m with now, and theres no room to be loving an ex!!

    • ChocolateFrappe

      Im almost sure that once that love factor kicks in…. Its hard to just think of an ex as an ex. There is definetely that buyers remorse feeling involved. I for One have never been in love…. Shit… Maybe never will be. But i do know what it is to love someone… And once you have that time And energy invested… Who can just walk away?

  • jaclynsd

    Love the “un clavo saco otro clavo” part. Its such a Spanish saying that one nail takes out the other and so it should be the same with people/lovers. SO not true! Well for me anyway if you really love the other person, deeply anyway, there is no way another will help you forget them. You just have to feel the hurt and go through the motions and after a while you move on. What’s the use of loving someone (ex) if you already have someone that’s willing to love you now.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for the translation had no clue what language Kaye was speaking LOL

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think you can truly love someone else until you’ve let go of past loves.

    I also don’t think you should try to use someone new to drive out old love, “un clavo satro otro clavo.” That does not work. I haven’t loved my ex since December 2008, yet in still, the two and a half relationships that was in after him were all painfully effected by what He did to me. I think that even if the future guys I dated were good to me, they still wouldn’t have been able to get the hurt out of me that still exists, and if I did find a good man after getting my heart broke, because I never let go of my ex, I would have just transferred unhealthy insecurities and needs on a new guy. And the cycle would have repeated. 

    Women and men, no matter how long, should take the time to get over someone they loved. That way they won’t become someone who breaks hearts too by using others to get over the past. 

  • Lady Belle

    You are a genius! I love this story.. Anyway, I’m going through something similar so this is very enlightening and funny to read at the same time. But the dude knew she was unavailable he shouldn’tve been trying to get at her, right?!

    Ta Ta

  • http://www.wotarticle.com/ articles on relationships

    Once you’re married, past is past.. You have to spend your time, managing your house and exploring your relationship with your wife/husband.  It’s a choice that you need to stand with.. If you marry someone and still cling on to your ex, then I think you need to make a mature decision that is not only base on sex and attraction but of everything..

  • http://www.men2hire.co.uk/ Male Escort

    This is so heart touching!! For a boy, love usually doesn’t matter, when it comes to sex, but for a women, she has to be into that person completely to enjoy the pleasures of sex!! For a women, sex is more then emotional, spiritual connection, which can by fully achieved, until she has her heart into him.. I think this girl needs some time, or may be a little support of Bryan to get out of that coward man and start respecting her bodily needs!!!

  • http://walkonby.wordpress.com/ Yvonne

    Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. It is possible, however should you let it happen? I think not. Be true to the current partner, and best to have let the Ex go before moving on to the next partner.
    I enjoyed reading this piece, thank you.

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  • Luring them Both

    I will
    attempt to present my situation in a positive light. My circumstances are
    similar except one major difference. My boyfriend was in jail. I know that is
    reason enough to move on but we have history, chemistry and memories. We have
    been together 3 years. Incarceration has not been a pattern for him. I love him
    and do believe there is potential in our relationship spiritually, physically
    and mentally, We speak of marriage often. He will have to stay out of jail
    because it gave me free time to get reaquainted  with an ex that I had not seen
    since we left our hometown for different colleges. It was great seeing him and
    he often pressures me to continue to see him in spite of the fact that the
    boyfriend is home. I want to see him as well but refuse to. Not because my
    heart does not still long for his gentle touch. I think of it often and find
    myself being less attracted to my honey.

    I will
    attempt to present my situation in a positive light. My circumstances are
    similar except one major difference. My boyfriend was in jail. I know that is
    reason enough to move on but we have history, chemistry and memories. We have
    been together 3 years. Incarceration has not been a pattern for him. I love him
    and do believe there is potential in our relationship spiritually, physically
    and mentally, We speak of marriage often. He will have to stay out of jail
    because it gave me free time to get reaquainted  with an ex that I had not seen
    since we left our hometown for different colleges. It was great seeing him and
    he often pressures me to continue to see him in spite of the fact that the
    boyfriend is home. I want to see him as well but refuse to. Not because my
    heart does not still long for his gentle touch. I think of it often and find
    myself being less attracted to my honey.

     

     

  • http://twitter.com/Amaris_Acosta Amaris Acosta

    One word.
    Lube.
    Actually two words:
    Self Stim.
    I was like this at one point in my life and to this day want to go back & slap myself. This is exactly what happens to you when you rely on another person for your happiness. The first thing she needed to do was to learn how to make herself happy (in both ways) again so she can stop acquainting him alone with her happy feelings. Then she can open herself up to another person giving her AFFECTION (not happiness). Happiness is a choice. When you are that deep you need to repeat it as often as possible. “Happiness is a choice. And today, I choose to be happy”.

    • ChocolateFrappe

      Can u truly say you loved someone without investing part of yourself though?

  • Misswhite

    Amazing.  Love this piece!

  • cee..

    I think when people focus on what love is and not their own made up definition the answer becomes easy.  Question, can you love multiple children equally?  Can God love more than one person?  Can  you love your mom and dad equally but appreciate different things about them?  If the answer is yes…then what’s so different about an about your romantic interest?  I know us egocentric humans don’t want to share love that given to us to be shared and doesn’t have to happen but it can.  I think people choose and decide who they love and if they want to keep it for one person they can but if they love freely it can be a genuine love for multiples.  Again, I invite people to look at the definition of love and from there they will see there’s no discussion needed.

  • https://twitter.com/FoodieMouth Foodiemouth

    WHOA. :-(
    Yes, absolutely…

    You can love someone and still have strong feelings for an ex that might
    prevent you from moving to the next level in your current
    relationship.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ETA419 Ameenah Rahim

    And run he did, past the market, past the barber, past the Rite Aide. His legs matched his anger,pure fire. Five and half miles into it is when he saw her. The morning was dim the sun had not quite broken and the air was a crisp chill. She was leaned between a building ready to be demolished and the new ones taking it place. Leaned over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath, as she panted pillows of steam escaped her lungs, sweat dripped from her neck into the dust. He remembered the first time he saw her, and his anger became a rage of desire. She sensed his eyes on her but the look in hers was not like any he had seen in her. She leaned back against the wall and as if by magic there he was standing in front of her. Something was different something had changed. He glanced up the street and it was as abandoned as to be expected on a cold Sunday morning at dawn. But the coolness of the morning did not subdue the heat coming from her, he could feel himself rise and thicken and the blood changed course. She had noticed too and with out warning she had positioned her self to lean with free hands, which were now making there way to reveal his thick cock into the morning air. Her hands were warm and soft as she stroked him. His mind was not clear he glanced the street again to confirm its abandonment. He leaned in closer kissing her down the small of her neck as he slid his hands in to her sweat pants. To his surprise she was not just moist but wet as if some thing had let loose. She moaned and he stiffened. He gently massaged her clitt, running his fingers in and out of her. Her moans bounced off the walls between the building distracting him he had not realized that she had maneuvered herself to be standing there in front of him bare from the waste down. The animal was fully awakened in him now her frame a perfect compliment to his height with out warning he flipped her and pressed her against the cold brick wall. Pressing one hand against the back of her neck and the other feverishly massaging her clitt she moaned louder. To her it did not matter who would wander in on the dawn lit streets and find her bathing in a new freedom she slid to re-position herself with her back arched.He took to cue and gently lifted her onto her tippy-toes as he glided him self in side her. She was a river and every stroke was a gushing tidal wave. She matched each stroke in equal stride, he knew that was the natural competitor in her and a new race had begun. She began to quiver and shake, the river turned in to and ocean and the clear fluid between them was now a milky white rolling down his legs. He new she was there but she begged him not to stop. He matched every quiver and break in her stride with a long forceful stroke. As if his athletic stature had been made for this moment right her he planted his feet and folded his arms around her to embrace her orgasmic collapse, she submitted willing and this only encouraged him. Harder she begged, he caught a new fire and as her walls tightened and pulsated around him, squeezing out his explosion.His whole body vibrated as she herself continued to quiver drenched in a mixture of their essence and sweat they stood frozen pressed against the brick wall. In between panting he asked ” who was he?” “I don’t remember” was her reply.
    ~Fin
    CMB