Would You Sign a Dating Contract? Love Don’t Cost But it Should

I finally did it. After months of debate I called it quits. The relationship just wasn't working anymore and I felt stuck, but after I found out when our two-year anniversary was I knew that was when I could finally be free and move on to something new. I knew it would be unexpected because we had been together so long but we had an agreement and it clearly said I had the option to leave with no penalty after two years and unfortunately I was exercising that right.

In case you haven't figured it out yet I switched mobile carriers and left #TeamBlackberry to jumped over to #TeamiPhone. But if you felt like I was talking about a romantic relationship then you got the point. As I was leading up to switch I felt like I was breaking up with a woman: I had to make sure I packed up all my personal effects, had to pick the right day and time, and as the date came closer and closer to the end of my contract I felt anxious about leaving behind my ex for my next.

Although I knew I was ready to move on there was still a matter of figuring out who would be my new girl. As I weighed the pros and cons of each new cell service that would become my partner for the next two years at the very least, I came to the realization that people can commit to a cell phone plan quicker than they can another human being that they claim to love.

Think about for a second: Each day some new customer signs their name on the line to commit to one company for a bare minimum of two years. Sure, you can leave/break up whenever you want but not without paying a big penalty. Could you imagine if relationships or even dating came with similar contracts and consequences? I imagine that would change a lot of the BS that goes on in the dating world and hold people accountable for their commitment.

I see a dating contract going something like this:

I, _[YOUR NAME HERE]_, of sound mind, body and soul willfully commit myself to _[ SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME HERE]_ on _[MONTH, DAY, YEAR]_ for a minimum of two years. This dating contract will expire and/or be open for re-signing in approximately 24 months _[MONTH, DAY, YEAR]_.

During the course of the next two years, I will, within the best of my ability, stay faithful, honest and loyal to _[ SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME HERE]_ and do my part to ensure the success of this relationship. I will remember all anniversaries, birthdays and Valentine’s Day, and make _[ SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME HERE]_ feel like the most special man/woman in the world. I will also tend to all of _[ SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME HERE]_’s sexual* and emotional needs on a consistent basis. In return, _[ SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME HERE]_will uphold the same requirements to ensure that the relationship is not one-sided. By signing this contract I agree to keep arguments to a minimum and provide emotional and spiritual support on a regular basis.

If for some unforeseen reason I decide that the terms of this agreement are no longer mutually beneficial or I wish to obtain the emotional and physical services of a new partner prior to the end of this contract on the date stated above I will be forced to pay an early termination fee of $2,500. The fee will double [$5,000] if this dating contract is terminated in less than 12 months of the relationship’s consummation. However, in the event that the split is a mutual decision, both parties agree to split a buyout fee of $500 to cover loss dates, emotional distress and public embarrassment.

Relationship upgrades are also available, but require a new contract and a minimum two-year commitment from date of upgrade. If all the above terms are agreed to, please sign and date in triplicate below. Both parties will retain an original copy and the third will be kept on file at the Office of Dating Affairs.

_[YOUR NAME]                                          _[SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S NAME]_
_[YOUR SIGNATURE]_                           _[SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S SIGNATURE]_
_[MONTH, DATE YEAR]_                      _[MONTH, DATE YEAR]_

*All physical acts, including oral, anal and any fetishes must be negotiated prior to signing contract or renegotiated at a later date, which will incur a new 24-month commitment from that date.

I know it may seem extreme but I feel like if there were dating contracts that allowed people to specify what they were looking for and making them accountable for not keeping their word there would be less drama in the dating world. There’d be clarity on whether you were “talking,” “dating,” “going out,” “just chillin’,” or whatever other ambiguous phrase people use to describe relationships these days that normally mean different things to different people, even those in the same “relationship.” Furthermore, if people knew they had something to lose if they didn’t stay true to their word they’d be less likely to jump into a relationship when they hardly know a person.

Of course, this is all in theory as there are no dating contracts, but who’s to say that there shouldn’t be or that you can’t demand the same respect as a contract from your significant other(s) in regards to your relationship. So I say stop roaming around relationships and lock down a solid plan that you could see yourself committed to for the long haul.

Do you think if people were held more accountable for their relationships that would cut out some of the BS on the dating scene? Would you sign a dating contract? What clause, if any, do you think I left out of the contract? Do you think the idea of a dating contract would work? Are there some exes that you feel would owe you something post-breakup based on the proposed dating contract?

Speak your piece…

TUNE IN: Tomorrow, and every Tuesday night, at 10pm EST on PNCRadio.fm for the Naked Radio Show. Our guest will be Abiola Abrams of Abiola.Tv as we dissect several “dating rules” that need to be changed. If you miss the live broadcast you can always subscribe to the podcasts, which can be found at NakedRadioShow.Podomatic.com, iTunes, or here on Naked With Socks On the morning after the show. Also, be sure to follow the show’s official Twitter account @NakedRadioShow and “like” the Naked Radio Show fan page to keep abreast of what we’re doing, send suggestions for topics and questions. Most of y’all should already be following me @NakedWithSocks, but should also add my co-host Amy Andrieux @MissAimstar and her company @_theStarkLife as well. If you have a question you want answered live on the show hit us on the Twitter or shoot me an email at NWSO@NWSO.net.