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10 Things That Hurt Most When You Break Up

COURTESY OF TOPDATINGSITES.COM

It’s no secret that a break up is a painful process, no matter which side of it you’re on. Almost everything about it is miserable, but there are some things that are particularly hurtful; these 10 things are among the worst parts of ending a relationship.

The Initial Conversation: Whether you knew the breakup was inevitable or were taken by surprise, the first discussion about ending a relationship is one of the most difficult. Hurt feelings can cause both parties to say things they’ll later regret, resulting in even more pain on both sides.

Separating Your Lives: Long-term relationships have a way of intertwining two lives so thoroughly that extricating yourself is a complicated and hurtful process. Sorting belongings, closing joint accounts and moving all hammer the point home; the finality of these necessary tasks can be heartbreaking.

Questions From Family and Friends:When family members and friends become accustomed to viewing a couple as a unit, it can be difficult to answer the inevitable questions. Being forced to explain the reasons behind a breakup to loved ones over and over can be wearing; watching mutual friends take sides and grow apart can often make things even worse.

Finding Forgotten Belongings: Stumbling over a forgotten piece of clothing or other left-behind belongings inevitably happens, especially if the couple shared a living space. The regrets and memories of happier times can almost be overwhelming in this situation.

Adjusting to Single Life: After creating a life with someone, their absence can be even more upsetting when it’s time to make adjustments to single-dom. Mundane tasks like eating dinner alone are often among the most depressing reminders of everything that has been lost.

Rumors and Gossip: Even the most well-meaning friends can’t resist the urge to pass along gossip and rumors about an ex; regardless of their truth, these second-hand news items can make an injured party even more unhappy.

Being Reminded Unexpectedly: Hearing a particular song on the radio or smelling your ex’s cologne/perfume on a stranger passing by can almost be devastating; being unprepared for the onslaught of memories that accompany these things often leaves a person bewildered, reliving the relationship and its painful end.

Accidentally Running Into One Another: Unless one half of a couple leaves town altogether, you will eventually bump into one another. The stunted conversation between two people who were once so close is heartbreaking in its awkwardness.

Finding Out That They’re Dating Someone New: Hearing that your ex is seeing someone else, especially if you haven’t been ready to date anyone yourself, can make you question the depth of their commitment and feelings for you.

Realizing That You Haven’t Moved On: There often comes a point, after a breakup, when you realize that you’ve been fooling yourself into thinking that you’ve moved on. Realizing that you’re still not quite over an ex can feel as if you’re reliving the breakup, going through it all over again.

Starting over after ending a long-term relationship is a challenge, and almost never happens quickly. Because moving on is a series of small and gradual changes, it can sometimes feel as if there will never be an end in sight. Patience and optimism is key; by taking things one day at a time and realizing that the pain won’t last forever, you might find yourself ready to face the world sooner than you expect.

What’s your worst breakup? How did you get over it? What’s the hardest part of breaking up for you? Have you ever bumped into an ex on the street? How did the impromptu meeting go over? Do you agree with the list/ What would you add?

Speak your piece…


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  • Anonymous

    Your number 10 is my number one. Realizing I wasn't as "over him" as I thought I was sucked. Seeing him moving on while I haven't managed to do so yet is almost as hurtful.

  • PrivateDancer

    I don't come to this website as much as I used to but decided to stop by today and it happens to be a subject particularly close to my heart right now. I agree with rhenewal's comment. I also thought I had moved on more than I had. In my case though there was never a real reason given for breaking up and we never fought at the end or during the years together. Then we occasionally would hang out after. So there was no real closure. Therefore we continued to be connected through energy- running into each other etc. As well we have many friends in common. So I am creating the closure now myself through a method called cord cutting. It's hard work. Particularly in this social media age.

  • Anonymous

    I'm writing a book about this for men... Touchy subject for me...

  • Sanchyp

    Yeah. Number 10 is really the hard part.

  • Natalie R

    I've found out my ex moved on the next day ... smh ... 

  • Angelica

    Number ten is the worse. We broke up just a month and a half ago and the first few weeks were tough but then I began to enjoy the freedom and being able to just do whatever. But now its getting closer to my move back home (our relationship was long distance) and I'm starting to realize that I want to see him, I miss him, and I might just want him back. But our communication has been limited so I don't know how he feels and because I ended it, I don't know if he's wanting a second try.