Somewhere along the evolutionary scale, it was determined that men approach women—end of story. While this sounds like a perfectly great system (mostly to women), there is one major flaw: it leaves men open to rejection. Unfortunately, it’s just part of the game.
The problem is—whether most men are willing to admit it—this fear of rejection leaves us doing downright silly things to overcompensate or just stand out from all the guys that holla. I for one have rarely participated in the open call and response of courtship practices I’ve seen occur on many a street corner, train car, or crowded club. And now that I’ve retired from the game it’s not my problem, but I know the pain from both sides of the equation.
I’ve seen plenty a brother make a fool of himself with a weak approach or lame game. I’ve also witnessed stuck-up women shoot down potential suitors with wanton abandon, just based off outward appearances alone. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and everyone’s just trying to
get a bone.
My advice is simple: Fellas, just be yourself because at the end of the day you want a woman to like you for you and not some line. Well, that’s if you’re looking for something serious. And ladies, I’d suggest you cut some of the brothers a little slack. It’s not easy putting yourself on front street everyday in an attempt to get to know someone, and not all of us know how to make a proper introduction, especially in a street situation. I’m not saying lower your standards but think about how you would approach a man if the shoe was on the other foot.
Peep this viral video I spotted from GangStarrGirl that perfectly captures (and pokes fun at) the joys and pains of trying to holla.
*I know it’s been a minute, but working through some things. Be back better and stronger in 2013… or sooner.