Why Being Single & Childless Over 30 Does NOT Mean You’re Gay
My 2013 has started off on a pretty good foot thus far. I flew a plane, celebrated my first year of marriage and landed my first cover story for JET magazine. The subject was none other than Afro Cuban actor Laz Alonso (Jumping the Broom, Fast & Furious, Avatar, etc.). Although he and I didn’t meet face-to-face, during the course of our two phone conversations I got the sense that Laz is a real down-to-earth guy without any of the pretentiousness often associated with Hollywood types. Click here for a snippet of the interview but be sure to pick up a copy BEFORE the issue goes off newsstands this Sunday, February 10, 2013. #ShamelessPlug
Leading into Valentine’s Day, the interview revolved around Laz’s love life and he kept it very real.
Laz On Being Labeled a Heartthrob:
“I don’t take it too seriously because looks fade. We all are going to get older and that whole heartthrob label will go to someone else… Regardless of how you look, the way you make a person feel, that’s eternal.”
Laz On Relationships:
“When dating somebody, I like to see them laugh and make the times we spend together more fun than they could ever imagine.”
Laz On Fatherhood:
“I want kids— just not out of wedlock… Because my father died when I was young, I’m extra cautious about not creating a single-parent home.”
At 38 years young and in the prime of his life, Laz is the ideal eligible bachelor. While his ability to be over 30 with no kids and expressing a desire to be married—one day—should make even more women swoon, I had no idea it’d actually result in questions about his sexuality. WTH!
I was trolling the Web the other day and saw that Necole Bitchie had shown some love to my JET cover story on Laz. As I scrolled through the comments section, though, there were a handful of remarks that gave me reason to pause.
“Y’all don’t think it’s strange he’s still single at 38? It’d be one thing if he were married before, but single at 38 no kids, no ex-wife?”
“I know there is such thing as being picky and not rushing. But if a man is seriously a family man and down-to-earth serious dating man he ain’t going to be damn near 50 years old talking this yang… He come up to me, I’m walking the OTHER WAY. Something is wrong with this picture.”
I agree with that final comment, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Laz; it’s the mentality of the reader in question that troubles me. I mean, why is it so hard to believe that a man can be A) 38 and still single, B) not have any kids and C) not be gay because of A and B? This is all just a perfect example of what’s wrong with today’s society.
Some of us have made the mistake of thinking that having kids out of wedlock or before 30 is the norm. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that anyone who does have children without a ring on their finger or got an “early start” on parenthood is wrong for doing so, but neither is someone who does the complete opposite. I may have made it to my mid-30s without baring any offspring, but even being married the past year I’m in no rush to have kids. Why? Because I’m not ready. That’s my right just as it’s Laz’s.
Again, I’m not saying that everyone has to wait until they're married to start a family, but have we as a people forgotten that that’s still an option? Back when I was single (and even now that I’m married), people hear certain ages and assume that there must be a kid or two in tow. Sorry to disappoint but I’ve heard of condoms and common sense and use them equally in abundance. Sadly, it appears more people can’t say the same.
I for one commend Laz on not only having morals but the personal conviction to stick to them. While I’m sure he’s playing the field with the best of them, but based on his outlook on relationships, marriage and fatherhood his reliance on his moral compass will more than pay off in the end with a happy wife and family. Besides, I’m sure the applications for came flooding in once women read that JET cover story.