[dc]F[/dc]irst and foremost, I want to thank to all who came out to last week’s #GraeSocks event, Ties & Tini’s. It was a great turn out with the ladies looking right and the fellas looking sharp as well in the bow ties, which made for an all-around classy affair. Extra special thanks to former Apprentice star Kwame Jackson, who held a special trunk show highlighting straight and bow ties from his Krimson By Kwame neckwear line during the event. They were selling like the proverbial hotcakes, but that’s not what inspired me to write today…
Early on in the night I noticed a trend, several attractive ladies who were single (I’ll assume) and ready to mingle were in the venue bright and early; some were solo and some were with their right hand wing woman. Meanwhile, the only guys around were myself, #GraeSocks team members, Kwame Jackson, #TeamKrimson, the jazz band and a few bartenders. But we all had to be there. Outside of us, the male attendees to the event at that point in the evening were sorely missing; a point that was made clear to me as I mingled with a few of the female partygoers.
“We need some men up in here.”
“I’m tired of only seeing women when I go out.”
While networking can happen between the same sex just as easily with the opposite, if your interest when going out is to also seek possible suitors then those are both valid concerns. Honestly, I was concerned as well.
I know so many dope women—all in different ways and for different reasons—and sadly most of them are single. That’s not to say that being single is a disease or that a woman is defined by having a man, but no one wants to be alone and a dope woman deserves an equally dope partner to balance out her individual greatness.
No offense to my homies but nine times out of ten I can’t co-sign half of the guys I know for various reasons: Still playing the field, not mature enough, in a relationship, or just not the right fit personality wise for the woman in question. That doesn’t mean that dope (and available) men don’t exist, they’re just not always in our immediate circles, just like dope (and available) women aren’t either. Still, I believe that there’s someone for everyone; it’s just a matter of meeting all your exes before finding “the one.”
Back to the party…
[dc]E[/dc]ventually the fellas did show up in droves and balance was brought to the room. The bow tie requirement also helped in making the fellas look presentable because guys are known to dress it down a little too much when they go out and that tends to lower the bar on the ladies’ expectations of them. But a bigger problem that I see often in social settings is people tend to clique off. I witnessed several pairs of guys huddled together in their own world while there were groups of attractive women left unattended just a few feet away. Overall, from what I saw, the social interaction between people who didn’t know each other was minimal (we’ll work on that for next time).
I did however make an effort to connect new dots. Early on in the night I mingled and introduced friends who came alone to new people, some I had just met myself. I even alley-ooped a connection when one of my boys commented on a sister that was walking by. I knew the girl she was with so I stopped her to spark conversation and introduced him to them both in the process before excusing myself. What happens after that is out of my hands, but since I’m banned from the field for life (married man here) I might as well lateral the ball when I can.
Under normal circumstances, though, I wouldn’t be so social but it was all part of me helping people meet each other. Of course I couldn’t do it all night long and for every single person but it was better than nothing, right?
I understand that making connections in the real world is nerve-racking but it’s not impossible. I’m tired of people complaining that they don’t meet anybody new when they spend the whole night on their smartphone. I’m sorry, if you’re tweeting all night long about how dope a party is I won’t believe you because if it really was that dope you wouldn’t have time to be on Twitter and you’d be enjoying yourself in real-time not your time line.
If you follow me @NakedWithSocks you’ll know there are times when I go black on Twitter, which probably means I’m enjoying life or involved in something more interesting than 140 characters or less. A lot of y’all should try it as well. To quote Ferris Beuller, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.” And “it” could be your next great love or the person that could introduce you to that next great leap in your career.
I always used to tell my little sister when she was younger not to walk around with her head down because the world was up here at eye level, so hold your head up and look the world in the eyes. I pass that message on to y’all: Don’t complain about not meeting people if you aren’t even putting yourself in the position to meet people.
[dc]T[/dc]here’s this young lady I met at the Single Black Male mixer last summer. She rolled to the event by herself and didn’t know anyone there. She happened to grab a seat by me and some folks I knew and when my friend ran to the bathroom I happened to strike up a conversation with the young lady. Found out she was an aspiring entrepreneur and writer, so I gave her my card and told her to feel free to reach out for advice. Since then I’ve been digitally mentoring her and she continues to come out to my events solo. I totally respect that about her and always make a concerted effort to introduce her to people that she should probably know. Funny, though, last week she said I could start introducing her to eligible bachelors next. LOL
Whether I do or I don’t she’s already in prime position to meet someone—personal or professional—just because she comes out. She doesn’t rely on the crutch of needing her friends to go to an event that may be attended by people she needs to meet. Only in her early 20s, she’s already ahead of the curve. Let me be clear though I don’t subscribe to the belief that most people will find love in the club. Generally that’s not the setting to spark a healthy relationship. However, there’s an exception to every rule and there’s nothing wrong with being social at an event to make first contact. Because regardless of where you meet someone the real work to build a relationship—platonic or romantic—happens after you leave.
Speak your piece…