Tag Archives: Morning Monologue

Morning Monologue: Day 13 (Dedication) 37/90

Good morning,

Two words: I’m tired. I decided to salvage some of yesterday by putting in a few extra hours to knock out some work. I just can’t seem to let some things go I guess. All I want to do now is crawl back in my bed and grab a few extra winks. In fact, that’s exactly what I’ll do after I finish writing this.

See, what I have is dedication. That word is defined as the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action. If that doesn’t apply to what I’m doing then I don’t know what else does. I had to have dedication to commit to this Ramadan fast. The same goes for my decision to do this 30-day blog marathon, which somehow went from 30 blogs in 30 days to 90 blogs in 30 days.

Today marks lucky Day 13 of this journey. It’s not quite the midway mark, but it’s not the beginning either. For some reason this morning I realized how much of a change I had made. I basically shifted my whole schedule around in a day and have pretty much abided by that on a pretty consistent basis. Waking up at 5:30am on the weekdays is one thing, but to do that on the weekend when you don’t even have to be anywhere specific anytime soon is a whole other ballgame. Working out (most mornings) and coming up with something new to write at the crack of dawn is not a task the average person assigns themselves—for 30 days no less—just to turn around and do the same thing again at night. But I gave my word that I would, and my word is bond. Some might say I’m a glutton for punishment, but I’ll just say I’m dedicated.

Check back in this afternoon for the next post as the 30-day blog marathon continues…

Morning Monologue: Day 12 (Change of Plans) 34/90

Good morning,

I’m the type of person that wakes up each day with a list of things to do. They’re not typically written down, just jotted down in my mental Rolodex from the night before. I just map out what needs to be accomplished, more so what I want to accomplish, in the following 24 hours and plot out how to check them off the list. I think that’s why whenever I have to do something big on a particular day, my body tends to wake me up before my alarm clock. I guess subconsciously I gear up to attack the day in my sleep.

Now this doesn’t mean that I check off every single thing on my daily list, but I have a personal benchmark for what qualifies as a successful goal day. Whatever didn’t get done will just get added to tomorrow’s list, but get top priority. My dedication to meeting goals, of course, comes at a cost. Plenty of times I have to forgo an event or invite for the sake of not failing myself (I have high expectations for myself and if you don’t, you should—real talk). It’s about sacrifice and putting what you need before what you want. But there also has to be a healthy balance between my goals and my personal life. And like we all know, sometimes shit happens.

I went to bed last night focused on what I had to do to make next week easier. Today’s to-do list included, waking up (durr), working out, having breakfast, praying, check email, think about what to writing for this Morning Monologue, actually write and post it (including finding images), plotting my afternoon post, wash dishes, shower, get a haircut, write some blogs while waiting for a cut, go grocery shopping, write a bio, go through a transcript for work, edit two stories for work, and maybe, just maybe if I finished a good chunk of that, get into something tonight.

Well, that was the plan last night. I woke up this morning to two texts: One was an old friend inviting me to a small get-together at her house that sounded like fun (I haven’t been too social lately and there might be some ladies in the place with style and grace), the other a message from another friend in need of my help/assistance. I hopped up and tried to decipher the specifics of friend #2’s dilemma and after a few text exchanges there’s been a change of plans. Sure, I’ll still tackle as much of the small stuff (like writing this post) this morning, but a friend in need is something that tends to supersede any little list I can make for myself. Needless to say, a lot of things that were priorities for today will have to be transferred over to tomorrow in lieu of helping out a good friend—that’s something that’s always on top of my list.

Check back later for the afternoon post as the 30-day blog marathon continues..

Morning Monologue: Day 9 (Hey, Mama) 25/90

Good morning,

Today is a special morning because this is my mother’s birthday. With all that’s been going on with work, fasting and blogging, it almost slipped my mind. Luckily I marked it on my calendar alongside the times for the sunrise and sunset for each day. I know when my mother’s birthday is, it’s just been easy for me for things to slip my mind while I’ve been on this marathon of not written down. But that’s all beside the point.

I love my mama, as I hope everyone does. She’s done so much for me and my siblings over the years and I owe her so much. My mother made sure I never needed for anything as a kid and that I got a good education. I think she did a good job with me and my brothers and sister on her own. The strength that she’s shown over the years just always amazes me and I wish I knew how to repay her.

I always hate when her birthday, mother’s day or Christmas because my mom is so darn picky. It’s murder getting her a gift that she’ll actually like. I’ve done the bath set that she likes a million times, I’ve bought her a VCR back in the day when hers broke, I’ve gotten her souvenirs from overseas, I’ve given her a stack of ones (j/k), and sometimes all I could muster is a phone call and hug. But in recent years, what I’ve discovered is that it’s not what I did or didn’t buy for her that gave her the biggest smile, it’s the time that I spend with her. Because we waste so much time doing everything else in this world, it’s always a joy when you can spend quality time with someone you love.

I know I don’t call as much as I should and I don’t stop by the house as much as I should, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my mama any less. So while I’m still stuck on what to get or do for her this year, I’m sure something will come to mind that’ll show my mama how much I love her. In fact, why don’t I just make that message as clear as possible by calling my mama right now and wishing her a happy birthday and telling her that I love right now.

Feel free to tell you mama the same. Not because it is or isn’t her birthday, but just because.

Love,

NWSO

Check back in at noon for today’s second post as the 30-day blog marathon continues…

Morning Monologue Day 8 (I Wanna Cheat) 22/90

Good morning,

I have a confession to make. This morning I woke up and I wanted to cheat. I don’t have to be to work today until noon and I went to bed “late” last night around midnight, but still my alarm went off at 5:30am. I hit the snooze once and when it went off again, I just wanted to turn it off completely and roll back over. Forget breakfast, I can eat that when I’m ready to get up for real. So what if it was after sunrise; who would even know?

I would, so I got up.

Yeah, that’s what I thought as I laid there staring at the red numbers on my clock. I don’t wanna get up and run through crunches and then make something to eat. I just wanna lay hear with my eyes closed and sleep a little but longer. I don’t wanna have to get up and then write something for the Morning Monologue. I don’t have anything on my mind, so what am I gonna write about anyway? So what if I didn’t do one today; who would even care?

I would, so I got up.

Today is Day 8 and I’m weak. My mind is reminiscing on its freedom. My body is craving pleasure. My soul is seeking purpose, though, and that supersedes the previous two desires. Failure is not an option. I put too much on the line. But a week of fasting is commendable, right? What if I just started sneaking turkey cheeseburgers in the middle of the day; who would even know?

I would, so I got up.

I got up this morning with a purpose(s). 1. To thank God for giving me another day. 2. To stick to my fast. 3. To accomplish what I set out to do. 4. To make up for last’s night “cheap” Evening Epilogue post (I see you anonymous commenter). 5. To push myself to another level. 6. To be better than I was yesterday. 7. To write these words and remind myself (and hopefully someone else as well) why it’s important to keep your word. 8. To admit my weakness so I could find my strength. 9. To make history today. 10. To continue this journey even when I feel like I wanna cheat. That’s why I got up today; but would anybody really know or care if I didn’t complete those tasks?

I would, so I got up.

**Maybe I just need one of these.

Check back later for the second of three blogs today as the 30-day blog marathon continues…

Morning Monologue: Day 6 (No Air) 16/90

Good morning,

Well, actually I wish I could say it was good. I forgot that the aftereffect of going to swim class is a bad night’s sleep. I think it’s an allergic reaction to the chlorine but every since I got more advanced in my class and actually swim in the pool my sinuses get super clogged later in the day and I can’t sleep because I can’t breathe. That’s exactly what happened to me last night. It starts with the slight congestion or runny nose then it snowballs into a massive blockage that results in me having to breathe through my mouth. If anyone has any tips on how to avoid this damn post-swim sinus condition, let a brother know. Because that was my night, tossing and turning and constantly waking up every hour on the hour in search of air. Sigh.

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air, no air…

On another note, I actually woke up and wasn’t hungry. I ate by default, because I’m not about to test my hunger threshold more than I already am on purpose. But I do take this as a sign that my body is adjusting to the schedule and I’m getting used to the process. Can’t believe I’m on Day 6 already (other times I can’t believe it’s just Day 6, LOL). Either way I’m a fifth of the way through this fast and that in itself is an accomplishment, right? Not bad for a first timer.

Look, I’m not even gonna lie. I didn’t wake up with a big epiphany or bigger outlook this morning—probably because of the lack of a good night’s sleep—so I’m gonna cut this one short and head back to bed. Perhaps if I can get some actual rest I’ll be in a more creative mind. I’m also going to church later so I’m sure something good will come from that.

Holla in a few with the afternoon post, which I’ll probably toss up a little earlier before I head to church.

One.

Check back in later for the afternoon post and the Evening Epilogue as the 30-day blog marathon continues…

Morning Monologue: Day 5 (Gangs of New York) 13/90

Good morning,

Didn’t really sleep well last night. For some reason there just seemed to be a string of oddity going on outside my window. First, was a woman, who I believe was crying or talking to herself that was roaming the streets. I think she must have stopped in the middle of the street down the block because as I heard her voice trail off to about where the corner was, a car started honking from about the same distance.

Then, came the street toughs. A couple of kids, who I gather are part of the New York Bloods and a rival set (SMH). There was the sound of heavy footsteps, then some kid saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, what’s up now?” More shuffled feet and what sounded like hands being thrown and someone knocked against a car, then more heavy footsteps taking off, with one young voice saying, “Yeah, Blood up, ni**a! Blood up.”

Sigh. I sigh for two reasons: 1) I live in a decent neighborhood in Brooklyn and when I moved back from Queens I wanted to be in a neighborhood devoid of such foolishness, but this is Brooklyn USA though. 2) I sigh for the future. When I was coming up, I always was glad that New York didn’t have gangs like LA’s Bloods and Crips. Sure, we had the Deceps, Lo Lives, etc. but I feel like it was different in that it wasn’t as random. The Gangs of Old New York robbed people and such, but murder wasn’t the priority. Bloods and Crips, however, were notorious for drive-bys and attacking people over colors and not just unique colors like orange or purple, but common everyday colors like red and blue. Who the hell doesn’t have something red or blue in their wardrobe? So it’s like you could be sprayed with bullets walking down the street just because you bought some red ad black sneakers to match your Bulls jersey. I was just glad New York didn’t have gangs with that kind of random mentality. Yeah, they’d rob any and everybody but that was because you had what they wanted or was in the wrong place at the wrong time, not because of your fashion sense.

But at some point or other, the Bloods and Crips (or some bastardized offshoots) found their way out East and that saddens me. I remember going around my old way to visit my moms and seeing Bloods Corner spray painted on a corner and thinking to myself, “Wow, they got Bloods out here now?” Now I had to pray for my younger siblings safety for when they went to school or went to the corner bodega. All this gang ish is just depressing. These kids feel they need to belong and turn to the streets and violence for whatever it is they aren’t getting at home or as a way to fit in. But what actual life lessons and comfort can you possibly get from slicing someone’s face as a way of initiation? Or beating another man down (or worse yet killing him) just because he has on a color you don’t like or lives on a block that you have beef with? What happens when that man changes his clothes or one of y’all move to a different block? Does that make you hate or love them any more or less now? Y’all are both the same person at the end of the day, regardless of what color you wear, what block you live on or what set you claim. Doesn’t that mean more than an address or wardrobe? Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. I just don’t get it.

What do y’all think about gang violence and the youth? What alternatives do these kids have? What can you/we do to curb the violence? Or is it already too late?

The 30-day blog marathon continues check back later today for post number two in the afternoon and number three in the evening…

Morning Monologue: Day 4 (I'm Tired) 10/90

Good morning,

Today, I’m tired. I wasn’t ready to hop out of bed and jump right into my workout so I could eat breakfast. So, I didn’t. I skipped the workout this morning in favor of taking it slow. I figure after going straight for the past six days I can give myself a morning off, right? Part of me feels bad about it, but at the same time, my body talks and I should listen. I just have to make sure that this doesn’t become a downward spiral of slackness. But I’m sure I won’t let that happen.

I have no real epiphany this morning or major outlook on the day. I wanna crawl back in my bed and catch a few more Z’s, honestly. It’s Friday and more than likely will be a short day at the office, but as always I’ll try and get a jump on something for next week. Just the way I am I’m sorry.

One thing’s for sure, I gotta find something different to have for breakfast. My fasting pro friend barked on me for having leftovers for breakfast the first day. I guess mac and cheese and curry chicken isn’t a good way to start your morning LOL. My thinking was to consume starch-heavy food along with my fruit to hold me over longer. So I switched to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two apples, two bananas and tons of water. Healthier but PB&J isn’t the most appetizing way to kick off the morning. I’ll hit the supermarket tomorrow and figure something out. But if anyone has any breakfast alternatives for me feel free to suggest.

Anyway, I feel like I’m babbling about nothing in particular so I’m just gonna call it a wrap for now. I guess all these early morning freestyle blogs can’t be gold. Oh well, enjoy your day, folks.

One.

Check back in a few for today’s official post as the Blog Marathon continues…


Morning Monologue: Day 3 (No Rollover Minutes in Life) 7/90

Good morning,

Today, my eyes opened at 4:56am. It wasn’t because of my alarm or an ASIAN MAN outside my window. I didn’t have to be up for another 34 minutes but, for some reason, my body just decided it was time to awake. I’m not sure why or for what purpose, but I believe it’s a sign that I’m getting used to this new schedule. I liken it to how I often awake ahead of schedule when I know I have something important to do that requires an early morning, like catching a flight, going to Church or some sort of meeting. So I’d like to believe I woke up early today for something important. That those 34 minutes I would have wasted on sleep will be better used today to help someone else in some way or to accomplish a new goal.

In the past three days alone I know that I’ve achieved some goals I’ve talked about for the longest but never put in motion, namely working out more regularly. I’m the type of person that never was able to find the time to squeeze in a quick 20-minute workout in the weekday mornings, instead I hit the snooze button several more times than I needed to because I was “tired” or because I just didn’t have the time in my busy schedule. Well, I’ve worked out every morning for the past five days, I’ve woken up at 5:30am three days in a row, I’ve only hit my snooze button once and even found an extra 34 minutes today.

Time is something that isn’t guaranteed to us. We never know when we will be forced to clock out of life. Not to get all philosophical on y’all, but value the time that you have when you have it. This isn’t one of those AT&T Rollover Minutes commercials, where “our minutes don’t expire” and just Rollover into the next month. Once we’ve wasted time, there’s no getting it back. So I was given an extra 34 minutes today to do something important—perhaps pass this message on to you—but what will you do with the extra minutes God gives you?

“There are some people that don’t have any Rollover minutes at all…You keep that in mind.”

I really hope people read this one and listen to the message, so I’m gonna hold off on today’s post until about noon. Thanx for listening, see y’all in a few…